Chapter 35: Burn it Down

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It was over a month since I'd come back and I still remembered nothing.

But I felt amazing.

I was so happy all of the time and I finally felt like I was going places with my life, I went back to work a couple of days ago much to everybody's worries and I honestly felt amazing to be back and figthing for everything I wanted.

But...

There were moments, sometimes I felt empty and lost, forgotten and when I tried to speak to my shrink about it, he said it was probably just my mind block remembering something that happened when I was kidnapped.

Blood...

I always seemed to be thinking about what had happened to me, something like blood would often circulate around my mind and I'd almost open have that moment of realisation when something would pop into my mind - something like the colour brown, strong arms or even the outline of a silhouette - but just as soon as I would feel like I'd remembered something useful, it would drop right out of my mind.

It felt like another person that had been taken, not me. 

"Can we got out this evening?" I asked David and Holly out of the blue. I hadn't even really been thinking about going out but I wanted to celebrate something.

We were sat in the front room of what was now mine and my mothers house, apparently getting abducted resorts to my landlord terminating my apartment contract and me having to move into my mothers house where my over protective older brother liked to spend most of his time making sure I was locked up like a prisoner.

Holly looked at David who looked doubtfull, he wasn't my dad but yet he was going all protective over me.

"Please. I haven't properly been out in public since I've come back and nobody has tried to come near me. I'm just yesterday's news." I said, trying to convince them, "Come on, we need to celebrate your enagagement again, maybe you could set the date and we could celebrate that..." I said and I could see Holly's eyes lighten up ever so slightly.

"I'm sorry but I don't think you're ready..." he said, I looked back into Holly's eyes, the light had gone from them and she looked guilty for even getting hopeful at the idea of celebrating her engagement.

I shook my head, stood up and walked over to the fireplace where the picture of me and my brother as teenagers was placed, I was wearing a cheerleading uniform and he was in a band tee and jeans, he'd taken me to every single one of my pep rally's even though he was completely against them.

Beside that picture was a picture of David and Holly, it was a picture taken of them with their arms around each other, Holly was holding up her hand with an embarassed but happy look on her face, showing the sparkling engagement ring on her finger.

"Well it wasn't a request more of an FYI that I'm going. Come if you want." I said, going upstairs to get ready before David could say anything. 

I felt guilty for Holly but annoyed with my brother for not appreciating Holly, it's like he doesn't even know what he's got, Holly's just there for him no matter what.

I came downstairs in a figure hugging purple dress that was a very low v-necked and very high above the knees. I'd curled my hair in cork-screw tight curls and applied a very small amount of make up. I'd worn a pair of black boots instead of heels just because they would be easier to run in than heels although I doubted that I would need to run in them.

I didn't bother attempting to cover up my scars, if I meet a boy that likes me then he should also like my scars because they are a part of me and the only thing I can show to prove that I lived through something even though I don't know exactly what it is.

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