22 - Happy? New Year

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I tried hard not to let Peyton’s words get to me but they always seemed to pop into my mind at the worst moments. I would seem to be just able relax with Logan’s arm around my shoulders as we laughed along with his friends when realization would dawn on me: Peyton was right. 

Logan and I would be sitting around with his friends casually enjoying the day when I would notice him slip an arm around my waist or occasionally my shoulders. We would walk hand in hand at almost all times and his hugs had become our way to say goodbye. Everything seemed perfect but then I started to notice that every time we did these things, they were clearly public.

Maybe I was just being paranoid about it but Logan seemed to really play the loveable and affectionate boyfriend while we were around other people. It didn’t have to be Caitlyn as long as people were around; Logan was touching me in some way. Once I discovered this fact, I began to get a little depressed every time I noticed it happen. I believe Logan saw my change in mood but he was too nice to comment on it.

Everything he did just made me hear Peyton’s voice, “…he's just playing the part of the great boyfriend. The worst part is that everyone is falling for his act including you.

Then I would look over at Logan who was normally attached to me somehow and sigh. Peyton was right. It was all just an act and I had to get rid of my stupid giddy feelings of him and move on before I actually got hurt.

I made vow to myself one day that I would avoid all unnecessary contact with Logan and focus on someone else. The only question on my mind was: who else out there was worth the effort?
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My mother was strangely kind to me about New Years. I visited her during my first week of winter break. I spent Christmas with my mother up and Olympus. She told me simply that she had so much work going on in preparation for the next year that she wasn’t going to the New Year’s party in Olympus therefore, I didn’t have to go. In translation, this was the only holiday I actually got off from my mother and I intended on taking every advantage of it.

Don’t think I was a horrible person because I repeatedly asked my mother if she was sure but she only nodded. I decided not to press the issue anymore since the bags underneath my mother’s eyes had seemed to double since Thanksgiving. I really didn’t need her worrying about my concern for her.

The party that was held for New Years was ‘legendary’ according to almost every student at my college who had attended. I was pretty excited for it actually until I heard about one tradition a few days before the party.

“What?” My face dropped as Hazel nodded her head.

“Haven’t you ever heard that? When midnight strikes, you’re supposed to kiss someone. It’s for good luck in the romance department of your life for the next year.”

Ally nodded along with her friend. “Just like how you’re supposed to have money in your pocket when midnight strikes to symbolize having money over the course of the next year.”

I shook my head. “I’ve never heard of those things.”

“Now you have,” Hazel pointed out. “The people who throw the party always turn off all the lights at midnight for five seconds so people will pair up and kiss in the dark. Then when the lights come back on you can see who it is or you can forget about it for the rest of your life. Whatever you want. It’s no big deal and it’s tons of fun!”

“As if we don’t know who’s going to go after Vee,” Ally said eyeing me.

I smiled toward her but inside I was frightened about the idea. That was definitely unnecessary contact with Logan. I had to figure out a way to get out of it.

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