No Fury

Now: Thirty Six

I return to the ale house when the sun is directly overhead, heating the courtyard to a blazing torch. Mary sees me walk in, and wipes at her damp forehead with her apron, tilting her head subtly.

"Liam asked after you," she says, adding, "He was by this morning."

Da lifts his chin to me across the room, giving me a broad smile. I walk to my sister, putting my arms around her. "All right?"

She nods, kissing my hair. "Are you being careful?"

Meeting her eyes, I grin ruefully. "A bit late for that?"

Bursting out in a laugh, she shakes her head at me in mock admonishment. "Ye know what I mean."

"I do," I tell her. "And I am. Or, trying to be."

With a smile, I step out and walk to the bread house, peeking in to the cool, shaded room. The ovens are quiet, scores of loaves cooling on the hearth. Saturdays are quiet everywhere, it seems. "Liam?"

He steps out of the shadows, moving toward me with a small smile. "Catie." Bending, he kisses my cheek. "Are ye good lass? Out for a walk were ya?"

Nodding, I tell him, "I was."

I watch him take in my appearance, his eyes making the slow circuit of my face. I know now that I've given no thought to how I've come to him. My hair is no doubt loose of its careful braids, my lips swollen and red.

I feel my blush heat my cheeks. "Am I a mess, my husband?"

He laughs, reaching to straighten my hair. "A wee bit."

I feel tears sting my eyes, surprising us both. "It does nae bother you?" I ask, accent thick as my throat seems to close.

Liam shakes his head, stroking my cheek with his thumb. "We do not get to choose who our heart wants."

I stare up at him, at his infinitely gentle face.

"I don't understand how you can be so kind. How you can share a wife."

"It is not so very hard." When he smiles at me, and bends to sweet kiss my cheek, first one, and then the other, I register that his affections, and his heart, do not belong truly to me, either.

"Tell me," I whisper, wrapping my arms around his waist. "Tell me how you are happy."

This makes him laugh. "You are a bonnie lass, and I'm happy to take you in my bed, happy to claim you as my wife. Would any man frown upon my fortune?"

"Liam . . . " Surely he knows what I mean.

He holds me tighter, admitting in a whisper, "But aye, my heart belongs to another. It has long belonged to another. And for that, I beg your forgiveness, Catie."

"Please, tell me. Who? And why would you marry me if you didn't need to?"

"I will tell you when I can." He braces his hands on my shoulders, pulling back to meet my eyes. "Do ye trust me?"

I nod. I do. I trust him implicitly.

"Then it will all be fine, Catie." He steps back, grinning at me. "Wash up. Let's spend tonight with our friends, aye?"