next door » joshler [book #1]

six » stupid

he's stupid. that's what josh is, and he hates it.

"tyler?" he calls through the door, knocking gently, biting his lip as he waits. no answer.

of course. tyler, unlike him, actually has a proper life. he could be anywhere- shopping, at a job interview, out for a walk, out with friends, out on a date... josh isn't sure why his stomach twists so much at the thought of tyler being on a date, but it hurts.

he leans his forehead against the cool wood of the door, breathing in the still air of the hallway. his feet sink slightly into the rough, dirty carpet. why do apartment buildings always have carpets?

anyway- josh is stupid. for thinking that just because he busted into tyler's life one night, that gives him the right to come right back at any given moment.

he'd tried that last night, and walked straight in on tyler writing. tears had stained his cheeks and the paper he was writing on, but the sadness turned to anger as he saw his intruder. "don't you know how to knock, josh?" he'd seethed, flinging his notebook to the side. "god, i have a life, and also a doorbell. since you don't know how to use one, avoid the other." and he glared at josh, who'd cowered, and then he snapped, "get out of my apartment."

and josh had.

see? stupid- for thinking that he and tyler are even friends in the first place. it had been one night. a platonic one night stand. and now here's josh, trying to wriggle into tyler's life, holding on to the only person who doesn't hate him. and now, even tyler does.

well, good job, josh, if there's one thing you're good at, it's ruining relationships.

josh groans and sinks down to the floor, not caring that he's sitting on dirty carpet. he should probably go do something useful, maybe buy groceries for his rapidly depleting fridge, maybe look into buying a house where he can actually have his drum kit.

he keeps sitting there. thinking.

thinking.