Empire // h.s. au

Inevitable Words

Samantha Anderson

Everything hurt. Not physically, but I guess my pelvis was slightly throbbing from ravenous morning sex. No, my head hurt, my heart hurt, even my soul hurt. Harry turning me away pained me deeply. It only confirmed my deep and emotional feelings for him. 

My feelings for him revealed themselves at the worst time possible. And it sure didn't help that they came quickly and abruptly, completely shocking me and him. 

But how could he not feel the same way. After how he treated me and loved me. He was warm with me, like how I always wanted and imagined him to be. We told each other things, had real conversations. Even Luke didn't know about my internal and deeply emotional problems regarding my brother. But Harry knew. He really knew. 

My feet led me to the lobby. Where I knew Luke was waiting for me. Before I could agree to our relationship though, I needed to be honest with him. Tell him everything. Fuck the contract, Harry had already declared things over. 

Luke sat at a table, his hands holding two cups of coffee. Coffee. I had become a bit of a tea drinker while I was with Harry. He loved it and encouraged me to drink it. Coffee seemed like a memory of a past life. 

"We have a lot to talk about before anything happens," I admitted to Luke, sitting across from him. He nodded his head in agreement. 

"I agree, we do, here's a coffee. One sugar and a cream, just how you like it. Damn, though, it was hard to find normal coffee here," he said, shaking his head. "I don't remember any French for the life of me. It took me about 15 minutes just to figure out what the word for 'coffee' was." 

I sighed as he rambled, he was just as nervous as I was.

"Why'd you come?" I began. "Really, why couldn't this wait until I got back to New York?" 

"Honestly?" he said, looking at me for assurance. I nodded my head, taking a sip of the coffee. It was hot and made my tounge feel weird. So unfamiliar. "I hate that Styles guy, so much. I don't trust him, honestly. And the idea of you with him here, alone, made my physically ill."

"We had sex, Luke. You need to know that," I told him, biting my lips. He looked at the floor as I spoke, so I couldn't be sure what his reaction was. "I wasn't the good person in all of this and I have to admit that. I cheated on you with him and that's so fucked up and wrong of me, but I can't go on with you not knowing. Honesty needs to be there for you and me, and I don't think it really has been in these past few months. From both of us."

"I know you cheated," Luke said, looking at me. "But I want to forgive you. We've been together for a very long time, neither of us really experiencing a true relationship before. So I think we've both struggled with that idea. However we both handled it differently. You took it out on Styles and I did it by staying quiet and not doing anything about it." 

I bit my lip from saying my feelings for Harry were true. Because they were. He wasn't a fling to me, I really had fallen for him. But I couldn't say that and I couldn't feel that. Harry was gone. And Luke was what I needed. 

"Is there anything else?" I asked, looking at him. "That you have to tell me. Everything needs to be out there, now." 

His eyes darted to mine for a minor moment before he calmed down, "No there isn't. There was never anybody else for me. It's always been you." 

My heart broke as Luke spoke. I had hurt him in the worst way possible, but the fact that he was willing to forgive me was the truly sad part. Because he shouldn't. He should not forgive me for my horrible and cruel behaviour. But he was. Showing his truly kind spirit. 

"So what does this mean?" I responded, pursing my lips. This was all so strange and confusing and fucked up that my head could barely take it anymore. 

"It means I love you and I want you back. Come home to me. I miss sleeping in bed with you and holding you. I was an asshole, I don't want to hold you back, I want you to succeed," Luke admitted, his dimples very evident. 

I nearly choked as I spoke, "I love you too." 

As I said those inevitable words, Luke got out of his chair and leaned down in front of me, going onto one knee. I raised my eyesbrows at him. 

What the hell. 

As he got doing on his knees, I saw Harry at a distance. His eyes wide as he saw the scene unfold in from of him. Part of me wanted to run to him. To grab his face and kiss him like the crazy, stupid girl I was. Another part told me to stay with Luke. Stay with the guy who won't hurt you. 

Harry was the leap of faith. While Luke was the safe, charted path that you knew exactly where it led. Harry was confusing and wild, but incredibly beautiful and intelligent. My heart was split, but I knew where it truly laid. Even if no one else did. 

My heart was beating a mile a minute. Harry continued to stare as Luke spoke to me his too sweet words filling up my heart. 

"Sammy, this is probably gonna be really cheesy and really stupid, but I have this crazy feeling that I want to spend the rest of my life with you," he slighly chuckled as he spoke, the way he looked at me was full of a passion I hadn't seen in him in years. "Regardless of anything and everything. I don't care if we have to start over, I love you more than words. More than anything. Please, marry me." 

Author's Note: OMG. Don't kill me. I love you all lots. 

xx. my beautiful caterpillars.