The Friend Zone

Chapter Eight: It's Always Been You

 I just made out with Taylor freaking McCarthy and his hand was on my ass, what was I thinking? I practically ran back to my dorm after I realized I was making out with Taylor, I couldn't stay there after that and look him in the eye again or look anyone in the eye for that matter. That kiss meant something, it wasn't sloppy and full of confusion, it was full of feeling, of emotion and I couldn't get past that because it absolutely confused the fuck out of me.

It was three in the morning and Whitney wasn't home yet, I was ninety percent sure she wouldn't be anytime soon. I was glad she wasn't back though, I just wanted to be alone. I was so confused, part of me wanted Taylor to be more than my best friend, for him to see me in a different light. But the other part of me didn't want to even begin to get involved. Part of me wanted him to have meant to find me and kiss me but the other part of me wanted he and I to forget about everything that happened at the party and never speak of it again.

I had been laying in bed for about twenty minutes when there was a knock on my door.

"Hey, Tess, it's me, please open the door," Taylor's voice said on the other side.

I refused to answer the door, I refused to even get out of bed and let him know I was still here. I didn't want to talk to him, I didn't even want to see him at this point. I swear the boy knew that I didn't want to admit it when I really needed him the most. I didn't want to talk about it and I didn't want to talk about it while we were both drunk either.

"I know you're in there Tess," he sighed after a minute, "I just want to talk to you, you know where to find me if you want to talk too."

Damn it Tess, I thought to myself. Sure, Taylor could be an absolute asshole from time to time, but I knew he had this huge heart that really cared about a select few people and I happened to be one of them. It was so hard to stay mad at him, not just because he gave me the huge puppy dog eyes whenever I started to yell at him because I knew he typically regretted whatever stupid crap he had done that I was mad at him for.

I laid there in bed for a good thirty more minutes before finally getting up and walking to Taylor's. I never could stay mad at him, especially because he was the only person I felt like I could actually vent to. I knew that whatever I said would stay between the two of us and he would never dream of telling a single soul and he wouldn't judge me for anything I did because there was almost a guarantee he'd done something ten times as stupid before. It had killed me to ignore him all week, I don't know how I didn't end up going insane.

Not thinking straight, I walked out into the bitter cold in just the tank top I had worn to the party, I hadn't bothered to change my clothes since getting back. Relieved when I found a rock between the door and the hinge at his dorm hall, I quickly ran into the lobby, attempting to warm myself up.

I must've stood there staring at his door for an eternity. Should I really be here? Should I really be running to him? Did he really mean what he said? Did that kiss really mean something? Those and another million questions were currently running through my head. I finally mustered up the courage to knock on the door after about ten minutes of contemplation and walking halfway down the hall to the staircase and back to his door again.

"Tess, what are you doing?" Taylor asked, "You must be freezing, get in here," he said, taking my hand and dragging me into his room and rummaging through his stuff on his futon to find a blanket.

"I-I haven't changed my clothes yet," I replied.

"Sit down, wrap yourself in my blanket, you're lucky you didn't get frostbite," he said, taking the blanket off his bed throwing it around my shoulders.

"You said you wanted to talk to me?" I asked, grabbing the edges of the blanket and pulling it snugly around my cold body.

"Yeah," he said.