PHAN -Save me, please.

Chapter 16 (mini)

Part 1/3

„...and so I think that the new medication will help with his depression level." PJ finished his report about Dan's momentary health status. "But was has come across my eyes is that something is off with him, I don't know what though... Have you done or said anything that upset him?"

Phil lowered his eyes. He was sat in the chair opposite of PJ's in his office, listening to PJ's rant. Normally he would tell him the same things day by day because nothing changed, but this was something weird. When something changed, it was always for the better, not the worse.

But Phil could imagine what it had to do with. Since Phil told Dan his feelings, he didn't really talk to him. There have even been days, when Scott told him that Dan wanted to be alone. It broke Phil's heart to not be able to see him.

Maybe this was his entire fault. If he didn't tell Dan about his feelings, then Dan wouldn't feel this uncomfortable around him now. If Phil would've just apologize for the attempted kiss and just leave it, they would be far better off now. They could just continue like normal, Phil could adopt Dan completely, Dan would finish his recovery and they would live happily ever after.

"Well, sort of..." Phil beat around the bush. "I... I told him that I am in love with him."

PJ looked at him with a mixture of shock and pissed-off-ness. "Why?!"

"I don't know PJ, why do you tell someone that you're in love with them?" Phil responded sarcastically.

"And what did he say?" PJ asked.

"Nothing..." Phil answered embarrassed. It was one thing telling PJ, his ex-date, that he was in love with another guy, but it was a complete different story telling him that he got rejected.

But was that really what it was? Dan didn't outright reject him, he just didn't answer at all. Which really bothered Phil, since he didn't know where he stood with Dan. Was he just a little overwhelmed with everything going on? Was he maybe also in love with Phil and just too shy to say it? Or was he totally confused because he didn't feel the same and he just didn't want Phil to get hurt? However, Dan was the only one who knows the truth.

"Aha alright there we have it." PJ said, slamming down the brown folder onto his desk. "What did you think Phil?! You can't tell a rape victim, who just had the worst experiences with love that you are in love with him! He will picture that you'll do the same to him as these guys!"

"I would never ever do that PJ and you know it!" Phil exclaimed.

"Yeah, but does HE know that for sure?!" PJ asked in a rhetorical manner.

Phil was quiet. Of course, that's what that was. No matter what Dan actually felt towards him, maybe he was just afraid that Phil could hurt him in the same way his rapists did?

"Why are you so mad?" Phil asked quietly after a while. "Look, I'm sorry what happened with us and all but-"

"I'm over this." PJ interrupted him. "It's just that Dan is as much your patient as he is mine, so I have to make sure he is in his best conditions. And I surely do not want to lose him because you fucked up."

Phil nodded. He had never even thought about this. Of course he knew that PJ was Dan's responsible doctor and that he was there to help, but he never knew that Dan was the ONLY patient PJ was responsible for. For all these years Phil wasn't here, PJ was there and helped him as best as he could, and no one recognized him.

"I just wanted to let you know that... I found someone for myself." PJ stated out of nowhere.

"Really?" Phil said amazed.