Butterfly - BTS

Chapter Four

"Yoongi, don't play with that lighter so close to Jungkook's head!" I called out. Jungkook was sprawled across Yoongi's lap, his head dangerously close to the lighter in Yoongi's hand that he kept flicking on and off. "The fire is already lit; you can put it away."

We were all sitting around a campfire in a circle, talking after a dinner of roasted hot dogs. We were full, warm, and happy. Nothing could be better. I basked in the warmth of my friends' company, and I had never felt more at home.

"Yeah, don't burn Jungkookie's beautiful hair!" chortled Jimin. A grin flickered on my lips like the fire that crackled in front of us. Jungkook twisted himself around so that he was facing Yoongi and quickly blew out the waning flame.

"And most importantly, don't burn yourself, hyung," he said before turning back around to lie down on Yoongi's lap again.

"Wouldn't dream of it," Yoongi replied, smirking, messing up Jungkook's hair playfully. Jungkook complained and fixed his hair, but I saw the soft smile on his face. But when Yoongi thought that no one was paying attention, I heard him quietly whisper, "But infires, man."

"Guys..." I said, looking around as my cheeks grew pink, "I know this sounds cheesy, but I don't think I say this enough. I really love you guys."

"Awwwwww!" Hoseok cooed, mock-crying and wiping imaginary tears. "That's so touching!"

I rolled my eyes. "I will hit you with a random stick," I threatened, "just because I don't have a rolling pin."

"Okay, okay!" Hoseok laughed, holding up his hands. "Love you too, Jinnie-hyung."

"I hope that Bangtan can stay together forever," I continued. "You are my best friends. I can never have a bad day with you guys."

"You can smile as long as we're together," Jungkook said, smiling softly.

Eventually, one by one, the boys got tired and fell asleep in their same positions. It was until only Taehyung and I were the last ones awake. In the darkness of the wild night, we were bathed in the pulsing flames of our makeshift fire. I gazed into it, staring at the bright tongues of yellow and orange licking at the blackened sky.

"Taehyung," I began, still staring into the flames, "you know what?"

"What?" Taehyung asked, blinking his groggy eyes.

"This fire makes the perfect lighting for a selca." I pulled out my Polaroid camera and smiled suggestively, wiggling my eyebrows ironically. Taehyung rolled his eyes.

"If you insist," he sighed, pulling himself closer to me. I angled the camera, smiled, and clicked. Taehyung crawled back to his spot and tucked himself into his jacket.

"I'll sleep now," he announced, closing his eyes. "Tell me how that turned out in the morning."

I waited for the film to develop, but only a blank slid out of the camera. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. How could this be? Was the camera broken?

I pointed it at a sleeping Namjoon and snapped a quick photo. The same result appeared; a blank slid out of the slot.

Why weren't the pictures developing? How could this camera be broken?

I turned the camera around and smiled before clicking. This time, a fully developed Polaroid slid out. My smiling face dominated the photo, but why? Why did this one develop, but not the others?

You know why.

You know when you're about to remember something embarrassing, so you try to think about everything but that one embarrassing event? That's what it felt like. My mind raced to piece together unrelated thoughts to form other things to think about, but I wasn't fast enough. The idea slammed into my consciousness full-force, and I squeezed my eyes shut.

It felt like I had been punched in the stomach and gutted simultaneously. All the air left my lungs, and my gaze dropped to the ground as I fought to breathe again. No, no, no. My brain throbbed behind my skull, and I felt unbelievable emotional pain.

I remembered.

I remembered it all.

How could I have forgotten?

I remembered standing over six coffins, seeing my friends look so pure and innocent, but yet so deathly gray. I remembered the days and nights of screaming and crying. I remembered slowly becoming the last one alive. I remembered the fan suicides. I remembered people on the internet anticipating my death. I remembered feeling the most alone I had ever felt in my entire life.

I remembered.