The Wrong Type of Love (Teacher/Student Relationship)

Chapter Twenty Seven

Hey guys, sorry this chapter is a week late. Also, I didn't have time to get this chapter edited so I've edited it myself, this may mean that there are a few mistakes and i'm sorry about this.
Saskia x
______________________________________I had only been away from school for two weeks, however, as I stared at the building infront of me I realised it felt like months. Ever since the night of the break up, I had been staying with Josh and his parents.

Josh had been helping me deal with all the emotions that would randomly flood though me when I wasn't ready to deal with them. He was there to hold my hand when I needed someone to be there, he was there to take me into his arms when I needed to feel the confort of another human being. He truely is my best friend.

I used to be so excited to enter this building, I was one of the few people that actually enjoyed school, but now I felt nothing, I was numb. I felt empty, I had no hope to gain any of my old feeling back, I just wanted to get into the building and then back out.

I was only returning to collect any homework or projects I had missed out on and to inform the school on when I was to return.

With a huge intake of air, I made my way down the corridors to the many classes I had been missing. Half an hour later I had a bag full of papers and a headache from all the people saying 'sorry for your loss'. It was nice that they cared but I didn't want to be reminded that Jack had died, especially when I was trying not to break down in the middle of my school. It also reminded me that later on I was to go to Jack's house to go through some of his things, his parents wanted me to have something of his, something to remember him from. But, how could they even think I would forget Jack?

"Earth to Aremor." Someone said, waving their hand infront of my face, bringing me out of my throughts and back to reality. It was Leigh, she had seen me stalking the corridors and had ran out of her lesson to see me. I hadn't spoken to anyone since Jack's death. I ignored all of Annie's calls, all of Leigh's and especially, all of Noah's. He rang me occasionaly, i'm guessing in the hope that I would pick up and take back what I said in the letter. That's why I didn't anwser, in fear that I would apoligise and go running back into his arms. I know I will be seeing him in a short matter of time but I kept pushing the sickness and panic that flooded me every time I thought about seeing him, to the back of my mind.

"Sorry." I simply said, turning to walk away. But Leigh grabbed my shoulder and pulled me into a bear hug. I didn't return the embrace, I just stood there awkwardly.

"Aremor, what happened to you? You look terrible." Thanks Leigh, I thought. "You look like you've just seen a ghost and you have dark bags under your eyes. I know about what happened at the hospital, Annie told me. She also told me that you disapeared and that you've been ignoring her. I didn't think Jack's death would be this hard on you, I mean you never spoke to him, I hardly saw you with him." She placed her hand on my shoulder but I shrugged it off.

"Yeah well, I wish I would have spent more time with him because maybe then I wouldn't feel like the whole freaking world is on my shoulders. Maybe I wouldn't look like this, but I do. Just go back to class, I have to go." Before she could say anything else, I turned and fled up the stairs, making my way to the one place I didn't want to go.

Before knocking on the door I ajusted my clothes and took a deep breath. I could see him sitting down, looking at his computer, though the window. He had a free period meaning no one was in the room except him, great. There were dark bags under his eyes, like mine, from lack of sleep and he looked so sad. I knocked once before entering.

"Aremor." He said, shock clear in his voice. His eyes were wide and within seconds he had stood up and was making his way over to me. I put a hand up and he stopped.

"Mr Reese, I have come to collect any homework or projects that I have missed out on." I placed my bag on the table and opened it up, ready to fill it again and return to Josh, who was parked outside.

"Aremor, I-." Again he took a step towards me and again I held my hand up.

"Please dont sir, just give me the papers so I can leave, I have somewhere I have to be. I care little for what you want to say to me and I don't care how you feel. I just want to leave and not have to worry about my gcse's." Anger filled every word I spoke, making him flinch back.

"No." He said. I narrowed my eyes and stared at him.

"No?"

"No, you will listen to what I have to say because I took care of you and in the end all I got in return was a letter, a letter. You just disapeared, you left without saying a word and then ignored me." His voice was full of emotion, it was clear to see that he was in pain.

"I said all I had to say in the letter. Don't feel upset, you weren't the only person I ignored." My voice held no emotion, the opposite to Noah.

Unexpecantly, Noah reached over and grabbed my hand. I yelped and yanked my hand back. Pain flooded his eyes.

"So I can't even hold your hand? What happened? What did I do wrong? I thought we were fine, I know it broke your heart when Jack di-." All of a sudden rage filled me. I took a step towards Noah and pushed him back.

"How dare you! You know nothing about how I felt, I how I still feel!"

"So tell me!" Luckily the bell had gone five minutes prior and everyone was either in the playground or in the staff room, so no one heard him shout.

"It felt like someone was slowly, very slowly, driving a knife into my heart and then when his chest stopped rising, it felt like my heart was ripped apart. It was as if someone had grabbed my heart and forced it through a shredder. Seeing his body on that bed, still warm but without life, killed me. It killed everything about me, I haven't felt anything right since he left. I don't care what leaving that letter did to you because not only did I have to deal with the fact that someone I could of protentionaly been with and be happy with died but I also had to deal with the fact that the last, small piece of my heart that belong to you, died when I finished that letter." I took a deep breath, Noah went to speak but I stopped him. "I'm not finished. All I wanted was the papers on what I missed out on whilst I wasn't at school, I didn't want to have this conversation. I told you, no, I warned you and i'm warning you again. If you ever talk to me like i'm not a student, if you ever look at me like you are now, then I will leave, I will move and you will never see me again!" I stumbled backwards and grabbed onto the corner of the table. Noah moved to hold me up but then stopped.

"I understand but before I agree to everything you said in the letter, I have something I want to say. You said what you wanted to say and now it's my turn. Reading that letter, broke my heart. I gave myself to you, I gave you my heart and you threw it away like it was trash. However, I don't care that you did that and I don't care about anything you said in that letter because all that matters is what I feel in here." He grabbed my hand and placed it on his heart. "I will never stop loving you and yes I know that's wrong but I don't care. You were the first person who I ever gave my heart to, the first person to see this side of me. You mean everything to me and always will. I will always be here for you, even when you don't want me to be. Your asking me to stop loving you, to stop looking at you the way I do. But I will never be able to do that without feeling like my world is being torn apart. I look at you the way I do because you are beautiful and all I have ever wanted. Now I know you don't feel the same way. But how dare you ask me to stop loving you because asking me to do that is like asking me to stop breathing. I love you Aremor and I have since the first time I saw you. Remember that." He smiled sadly and walked over to his desk to collect a pile of papers for me. He handed them to me, obviously avoiding touching my hand.

"I'm sorry Noah." I zipped up my bag and turned to leave but stopped. "You're wrong. everything you just said described half of what I feel towards you, of course I love you but in time, I will learn how to ignore the feeling I have when I see you. Thank you for everthing." I turned and walked back to him. He looked sad and I knew it was my fault he felt like this. I reached up and placed my hand on his cheek, I felt him lean into my hand. "Goodbye Sir." However, before I could turn around, he placed one hand on my waist and one on my cheek and placed his lips on mine. I did not move away but returned the kiss, knowing this would be the last one . It was sweet and over within seconds.

"Goodbye." I turned and left. Out of the corner of my eye I could see him, standing still and staring at the floor. The bell went and the corridoors filled with students, I took that as my cue to leave.