Chapter 15

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Aki please don't do it. It's not right to just lie in front of these insignificant strangers. You don't have to force yourself. You don't have to protect me.

Aki leans forwards...

...wipes my tears...

I close my eyes...and Aki gently kisses me.

Haru: -surprised and flustered- Aki... you didn't have to do that.

Aki: THERE! We're leaving! If you ever, bother Haru again. The entire basketball team will be your enemy.

Senior boys: Tsk, whatever! Screw this! -runs away-

Aki: Haru, are you alright? Did they hurt you? -worried-

Haru: I'm okay. Thanks...again...for saving me. You're always there when I need saving.

Aki: I just don't want you to get hurt...and...um...I'm sorry for kissing you. I know it probably grossed you out, huh? -blushes and smiles-

Haru: No, it's fine.

Aki: I didn't really want to fight them and I thought that move would lead to less resistance...I'm just happy your safe. -embraces Haru- I don't want anyone to hurt you.

Haru: I'm glad you're safe too. I don't you to get hurt for my sake. I'm a man and I need to learn how to protect myself. I can't just depend on you all the time.

Aki: Don't you get it!? This was the second time you were harassed. First was Ryoichi, the kendo guy and now these senior boys. You attract them, do you know that?

Haru: No...-confused-

Aki: -pauses and sighs- You know what, from now on, I'll be your personal body guard. If you're done with swim practice, I'll drive or walk you home. -pauses- You just can't walk around alone...with that face...and with that body... -worried-

Haru: You don't have to trouble yourself. I can go on my own...and what's with my face and body?! -puzzled-

Aki: WHAT ARE YOU EVEN SAYING? You can't protect yourself. At least...let...me...protect you. I don't know what I'm going to do if anything bad happens to you...So please...just let me do it...for my sake as well.

Haru: -speechless- Well... -looks away- If you insists...It looks like nothing will change your mind even if I tell you that you don't have to protect me. -pauses- You can protect me, Aki. -smiles- But only if I really need it. I need to learn how to be a man...

Aki: Really?! Then, it's settled. I'm your designated body guard. -laughs-

_____________

If I was a girl, I would probably be in heaven right now. Two sparkly princes just kissed me today. If only Usagi and Aki were my type, I would be all over them--but they were not.

Aki's kiss was different than Usagi. It's hard to describe or even explain how it felt like. I guess...I can say that it's rougher but there is so much passion in it. Maybe I need to ask Aki how to kiss like that. It felt romantic and I can totally use that move to my future uke.

_________

I started thinking again.

Usagi is my friend.

Aki is my friend.

They're giving me so much importance but I haven't really given them anything in return. I feel like a leech, a parasite, mooching off of their kindness. I'm nobody. I'm no one. I'm just a shallow person trying to find a boyfriend. And here they are, helping me with my problems and protecting me from harm...

I'm not a man. I don't deserve it...

I need to start being worthy to be their friend. What should I do? What can I do to help them? What can I do to make them happy? If I find out, I'll do my best to give it to them.

They helped me so much and I had nothing to give them.

____________

I woke up and I felt bad. I realized that these negative thoughts about myself was not very productive. Usagi and Aki are my friends and I don't want to corrupt them with my negative attitude.

I have to change my mind set. I'm useful and I will help them if they need anything. I'll support them on whatever they want to do. At least, those are just some responsibilities of a good friend. I'll do my best.

Haru: Good morning, everyone!

Usagi: Morning. You're in high spirit. Did something good happen?

Haru: Oh..nothing.. I just want to be more positive and optimistic about certain things. That's all. -smiles-

Usagi: Okay...just don't overdo it like Aki. Then, you will be annoying. -pauses- Actually, even if you go over the top, if it's you, I don't mind being flooded by your positivity. -smiles-

Haru: -laughs- That's good.

Aki: -comes in- Good morning, Haru. -passes a letter to Haru- Read it later when you get a chance.

Haru: Um...okay. -grabs the letter-

Usagi: -looks at Haru- Hmm...

What could it be? A letter? For what? Aki seemed a bit serious--totally out of his usual character. I don't know what to make out of it. I guess I just have to read the letter and find out myself.

___________

Our morning classes ended and we went out for lunch. Usagi wanted to stop by somewhere to get something and I went ahead to the Japanese garden. This is a good opportunity to read the letter.

Haru: -opens the letter- "Hi Haru, I have to tell you something really important. Usagi is always around you so I can't say what I wanted to say to you. Let's go somewhere private when I pick you up after your swim practice. -Aki" I wonder what he wants to talk about...-puzzled-

Usagi: -gently walks in- Hey, cutie. What are you doing? -pokes Haru's cheek-

Haru: -hides the letter- Oh nothing.

Usagi: Okay...then...Do you want some cake?

Haru: SURE! I LOVE CAKES.

Usagi: I knew you would like some. -smiles-

-pauses-

Haru: Say...Usagi...I know I said this before but...if you need anything...I'm here for you.

Usagi: Why do you say that? You're doing plenty for me already.

Haru: Huh...I mean...You're always there for me...and you know about my circumstances...I just want to return the favor somehow.

Usagi: You worry too much on petty things. Don't stress yourself out over it, please. -sighs and pauses- Look, you make me happy and I am having a lot of fun when I'm with you. I just want to make you happy. -smiles-

Haru: Well...I feel like I haven't done anything for you.

Usagi: Trust me, you're doing more than enough.

Haru: You're really weird sometimes, Usagi...-laughs- It makes you look cute. -pets Usagi's hair-

Usagi: -blushes-

I was worrying over nothing. Usagi said it himself--just the way that I am makes him happy. I should stop devaluing myself.

With that out of my mind, I started thinking on what Aki wanted to tell me. It's making me anxious. What could it be?


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