I Miss You // Luke Hemmings | ✔️

~Six~

The guys all stayed over last night. Calum and Ash slept on the sofa downstairs and I woke up with Mikey cuddling me, in my bed!

It feels sort of weird being cuddled by someone who is not Luke but he does give me a sense of security and warmth. I nestle into his muscular chest which is now bare and wrap my arm over his waist. "Morning cuddly" he mumbles. I smile at him "you're warm" I say. He laughs. I find myself just smiling at him.

Our peace is soon interrupted when Calum and Ash basically fall through my bedroom door. We laugh at them. Calum stares at us wide eyed, Ash mirrors his expression "uh, what, I mean, uh... Bad time?" Ash stutters. I look at Mikey and laugh. "What us? Nah this isn't anything, is it Mikey?" I smile at him. Mikey shakes his head and smiles "what us? Nah, just best friends sharing a bed" he nods. I can't help noticing a look in Mikey's eyes, like there's something else he wants to say but he doesn't say any more.

"Well if there's nothing then, what we doing today?" Calum asks. "Go hang out like we used to?" I suggest. The guy's faces all light up when they realise I mean hanging out in the park by the big tree we used to sit in.

"Let me get ready then" I push Mikey gently out my bed "a girl needs her privacy thanks very much". He smirks as he and the boys leave my room.

I put my jeans on, with a t-shirt and my 'You Me At Six' hoody. I put my black Vans on and quickly sort my bed hair into something presentable. I apply a small amount of make-up.

"You ready Khy?" I hear Mikey ask. "Yea, be out now" I grab my bag and phone and walk out my room. I smile at the guys. Ash and Cal walk ahead of Mikey and I. We all get into Ash's car.

He drives us to the park. We all get out, Cal and Mikey sprint for our tree. I look at Ash and laugh "race you" I challenge him. He grins "you're on". I run off fast but Ash soon takes over "you're slow Khy" he teases. In the end he ends up reaching the tree before me, knew he would.

Mikey smiles at me from up in the tree "want to come up?" he asks, "come on Khy Khy!" Calum says excitedly beside him. I smile at the two boys and begin to climb, I accidentally rub my wrists against the bark and it hurts me. Michael can see it and grabs my hand and helps me up the rest of the way. "Okay?" he asks softly. I nod and rub the under side of my wrists. Ash joins us up here too.

We spend most the day hanging out in the tree. Michael then jumps down "coming for a walk?" he asks me quietly. I nod and follow him down the tree "be back in a bit" I tell Ash and Cal, they nod in and carry on talking amongst themselves.

***

I follow Mikey until we're out of ear shot and sight of the boys. I wonder what he wants to talk about? I look his expression over carefully, I can't work it out.

"What we gonna do about your cutting?" His eyes are sad but he's trying not to show how he's feeling. I shrug and try to hug him but he pushes me away "answer me Khy! What we gonna do about it? You can't just hug me, that won't make everything better" his words hurt me.

"NO! YOU'RE RIGHT IT WON'T MAKE EVERYTHING BETTER BECAUSE THE ONLY GUY I EVER LOVED IS DEAD AND HE WON'T EVER COME BACK..." I ran off from Michael sobbing, I wrapped my arms around my waist and hugged myself as I ran. It had began to rain and my hair streamed out behind me as the rain soaked it. I didn't care about getting wet, there's far worse things that can happen.

I ran all the way to the cemetery and kneeled at Luke's grave. The tears that poured down my face were disguised by the rain and I regretted putting mascara on that day.

"Luke if you are here please just know I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say what I did yesterday" I sob as I curl up on the wet ground.

"I know you didn't, it just hurt" a pair of arms pick me up and hold me close to their cold body. I memorise the pale face of my dead boyfriend and smile, but he doesn't smile back. "You cut again" was all he said. I sighed "it helps Luke! It helps with the pain that you left me with". He looks away sad "I'm sorry" he mumbles into my ear. "Why do you come back? Why did you come back in the first place?"

Luke studies my face "because once you said something to me that I've remembered for all of eternity" he smiles. "What was it?" I ask as I wipe the tears from my eyes. "You said, don't ever leave, so I didn't. I promised you I wouldn't and I kept my promise". "I still love you Luke" I whisper softly trying not to cry again. He strokes my hair "I'll always love you Khy" I think he's crying but do ghosts even cry?

***

Suddenly there's the sound of a car pulling up in the car park. "You should go" I tell Luke. He nods "see you soon" he smiles. I smile and nod. He vanishes just like that, it's as if he was never here.

I hear the sound of voices talking, all male.

"Shall we all come?" Says one voice.

"No, let me talk to her" Replies another.

I can't make out the figures in the rain but I'd recognise the voices anywhere. The first was Ash I'm sure and the second would be Mikey.

I squint as the figure comes towards me and adjust my eyes to the rain as he gets closer. "Khy! Don't run off like that, you worried us" he says softly, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. I lean into him and cry "I'm sorry Mikey, I'm really sorry" he holds me close "I know" he strokes my wet hair "come on let's get you home or your mum will kill us if you get ill" he smiles. I nod and follow him back to the car.

***

Once home I get a warm shower and get into some dry clothes. The guys put a dvd on and we cuddle up on my bed with popcorn and coca cola.

When the first film finishes Mikey asks me to help him get more drinks for the guys which I agree to.

I'm pouring more Coke when I feel his eyes on me. "Michael?" I question him. "Are you alright?"

It's been ages since someone asked me that. And right at that instant I break into tears again "No, I'm all alone Michael..." I sob. He hugs me and places his hand on the back of my head "you're not alone! You'll never be alone Khy, I'll always be here for you".

I shouldn't have said what I did next but it just came out "but you're not him".

The room fell silent, we just stared at each other. I could see the hurt building up inside him, the tears just fell from my eyes. He made a beeline for the kitchen door, I ran after him and grabbed his arm "Mikey, please, I didn't mean it..." He looks at me, tears filling his eyes.

I sink to my knees and hug his leg helplessly "I didn't mean it" I sob "please stay, I need you. I really need you. I'm sorry..." I'm a blubbering mess as he picks me off the floor and holds me close "shhh shhh, I'm not going anywhere" he whispers soothingly.

"I'm sorry" I repeat as I try to get myself under control. He holds me tighter "I know. I am too, I shouldn't have tried to walk out. I know you need me and I'm here for you, always" he kisses my forehead and smiles at me.

"Come on let's go watch The Maze Runner with the guys now" he says as he grabs some of the drinks. I grab the rest.

I then spend the rest of the night cuddled between my three best friends and falling asleep on Michael again.