Forbidden Fantasies (Darkest Desire Book 2)

30. Someone I Used to Know

The oppressing silence as the three of us entered Grimmauld Place 12 was palpable. Sirius had hardly spoken a word to me ever since Enobaria had declared me fit for traveling, and even Remus remained deadly silent. We'd been escorted out of the Catacombs by a Draki Scout, and from there apparated back home. Truth be told I felt tired to the bone, and unable to even contemplate the enormity of the task ahead of me. 

Should I tell Severus?

....Should I tell him I was pregnant? Could I jeopardize our future like that? Could I risk exposing him in such a manner? Would he be able to handle the truth? Could I?....

Those thoughts were whirling around in my head, blocking everything else out. There wasn't space for anything else. I knew Sirius was angry, and that he suspected something was wrong. That there was something I wasn't telling him. It angered him that I wouldn't confide in him. Remus, on the other hand, seemed to be deep in thought, refusing to meet my gaze when I happened to look his way. He seemed guilty, almost, which confused me. What did he have to be guilty about?

That question got answered sooner rather than later.

Once we walked in the door Sirius wasted no time in stalking away angrily, a scowl etched into his features as he disappeared upstairs.  I was going through the motions, mechanically shrugging off my coat and putting it on a hanger. Remus was doing the same, and turned to also make his way into the interior of the house. Before he could start up the stairs however, I stopped him, taking a hold of his elbow and stopping him dead in his tracks.

"Remus..-" I said, unsure of what I wanted to say. My voice faded when I realized there was no way I could explain anything, no way in which I could ease his mind about what happened in Paris. However, it didn't take away the fact that I was grateful for his support. I had needed a friend and he'd been there for me. I would be forever grateful for his understanding.

"Look, Aurora...I-I can't do this. I won't choose a side in this matter" Remus said, passing a hand through his hair, clearly struggling with his sense of loyalty towards Sirius and his desire to be a friend to me.

Over the course of the return trip he'd grown more quiet and distraught, and although I didn't doubt his words of friendship of when he said I could always come to him, he seemed to have something on hiss mind that was bothering him. I wondered briefly if maybe it had something to do with Tonks.

"And I'm not asking you to" I said quietly, trying to organize my thoughts "I just wanted to thank you for being there for me when-..." my voice faded "...just...thank you"

I leaned in to give him a quick hug, and I saw his features soften as he returned the hug. He seemed to have lost weight, and I could feel the frailness of his body through his cloak. It worried me and I hoped he'd find a way to sort through his own problems. Maybe I could find some time to help him.... once I sorted through this pregnancy issue myself, that is. 

Pulling away I stiffened when I saw a bob of mousy brown hair appear into view from the kitchen. It took me a few seconds to place it, because the last time I'd seen the perky little witch she'd been overly cheerful and exuberant, and now, Tonks was looking rather gloomy. And the look on her face only hardened as she watched me step away from Remus. Her eyes narrowed suspiciously, zoning in on my hand, which dropped away from Remus's forearm. 

Remus hadn't noticed her yet, but he saw my gaze flicker over his shoulder, and turned to see what I was looking at. His eyes widened when he saw Tonks, and he opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something, only to close it again as she turned around stiffly and stormed off

I wanted to apologize to Remus for putting him in this position, but before I could utter a word he was shaking his head, turning on his heel to follow the stubborn witch I knew he'd come to care about.  It appeared as though I wasn't the only one struggling with relationship issues.