Thirty-Six

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Three Days Later...

It's stupid to think that after something like this everything would be normal again. Three days filled with mourning and denial. How was it only some days after what happened when it felt like so long? Countless of sleepless nights in burdened sheets, recurring nightmares if I ever did manage to sleep, and the continuous playbacks of his face moments before he was on the ground unconscious — dead. The pain his features reflected tortured me, knowing that I was the only who pierced him with the Opal blade. The guilt hasn't faded yet and I don't know when it will.

The guilt is nothing compared to the loneliness and pain I feel now.

Ren's death has no impact on me. My father and I were distant at times especially when he would be drowning in the thoughts of my mother which I've now discovered aren't true. I haven't showered in three days, haven't left my home in three days, haven't made any contact for a few days.

John dismissed us from work, if we wished to go back then we could otherwise we spent our time alone. Zayn and Quinn left for Greece. Niall, Louis, and Liam are recovering and securing the pack. And Harry... Harry's gone.

The realisation still hasn't sunk in, and after all my tears shed they seem to be unlimited, never ending. I reached forward to blow at the steam from my hot mug of tea, inhaling in the sweet scent and shutting my eyes. Nobody has dared to make contact with me, and for that I'm glad. But one of my biggest fears is being left alone, not having anyone to love or to care for. Nobody to scold at for the spilt milk left on the counter, or the scent of coffee lingering around. Without those small but simple factors there's nothing to really call home.

I took a sip from my mug and reached into the pocket of my pants, revealing the Opal necklace. The slate colour of the stone made it look so dead. As soon as the connection was lost it no longer felt heavy, it no longer has the same feeling within. Yet there's some part of me which just hopes... wishes that even though the connection is dead that he isn't. But there isn't anything more ridiculous than that thought.

I pulled the chain around my neck until it was in place and let go. The stone lay cold against my warm skin. The feeling was so odd, knowing that Harry told me to never wear it or it would bring bad luck. But what's worse than watching as you killed the one person you loved without having control of yourself. There's nothing more fucked up than watching the life in someone's eyes diminish in only seconds, than hearing their final breaths alongside their final words.

He said everything was going be okay. He said it, but he lied. Nothing's okay, and I don't know how long that will be for. Everyone's left and I have nobody. The realisation struck me now, through all this I'm alone. I pushed away the mug and rest my head against my arms as I quietly sob to myself, knowing there won't be anybody to reassure me.

-

"His body has been taken care of," Alivia murmured as we stood in the large forest alone. After a mysterious phone call from her asking me to meet her about a block away from my flat I was eager to find out just what she wanted. "It's not your fault. You know that, yes?" I could only nod but I knew how much of a lie that was. I couldn't help but think it was my fault. I felt as if my mother's death was my fault, Harry's death, Ren's death... it felt like I was the catalyst for all my issues.

"Where is he?" I asked her as she motioned me to follow her. I tightened the scarf around my neck the further we trudged into the forest. The trees became a lot higher, the light from the sky was beginning to dim. My dark boots were glistening from the wet leaves and branches on the forest's ground but I payed no mind to it and continued walking.

Alivia tightened her large coat and sighed. "There is a special memorial ground," she says, her accent was a lot thicker now than it previously was. "Only the bravest of werewolves are buried there. Harry, he... he was an obeyer. Much like his father was. He followed his heart, his thoughts, he obeyed the mark and for that his symbol remains on him. He fulfilled his fate, just like his father."

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