Broken | Lucas North - Spooks/MI5 Story [Featured]

Chapter 32

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Kudos and BBC. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.

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Lucas hardly paid attention to anything around him as he stood by the double doors of the train.  He couldn’t allow himself to sit down. He just couldn’t.  Every nerve in his body was on fire, every alarm set as his mind threatened to take him back there again.  His fists clenched and unclenched as he fought the memories from rushing in, his face turning numb at the mere realization of the onslaught of memories about to happen.

Finally, he slipped weakly onto the nearest seat and leaned back, taking a deep breath.  He rubbed his face, stopping only to watch other people’s faces around him, but seeing nothing but disinterested blank stares into the space in front of them.  

Lucas could have driven back to the Grid with Jo and Nadia.  And he would have, had Lucas not seen the business card  that fell from Nadia’s coat pocket.  Gemini, it had read, and from the moment his eyes saw the card and read the words, Lucas knew then that he needed to be alone.  

Gemini had been the name of the club that Mikhael owned.  It had been the club where he’d found Alexa nine years earlier.  

Lucas gasped, his chest tightening as a vision flashed inside his head.  The flashback had threatened to consume him inside the car, right in front of Nadia and Jo, and he couldn’t afford anyone seeing him like this.  Lucas knew then that he had to get out of the car and get some fresh air.

He didn’t want them to see him break into a cold sweat, his lower lip trembling as he shut his eyes only to see the visions return to him once more, like they did at three in the morning, when he lay in bed trying to sleep a dreamless sleep.  

Lucas leaned forward, resting his head between his hands, not wanting anyone to see him as he fought back the tears.  His breath came in raggedly, and he forced himself to exhale through his mouth, long deep breaths that he knew would calm him down immediately.  

In a busy morning train, he didn’t care who saw him in such a state.  But in a car with a colleague and a witness, he could not risk them seeing him like this at all.  He didn’t know how long he sat there like that but as soon as Lucas heard the voice on the speaker announcing the next stop, he knew that more than ten minutes had already gone by - time that went by in what seemed like hours as the vision appeared before his eyes.

This time, the vision had taken him deep into Lushanka prison, during the first two days of his incarceration, where he had struggled to keep up his legend - Dimitri Ilyakov - intact, confident that he was safe, that there’d been a mistake.  

They came into Lucas’ cell on the third day and dragged him into a dark room, strapped him onto a a wooden plank and there, a woman began grilling him about Sugar Horse.  He begged them then.  He knew nothing.  His name was Dimitri Ilyakov and he was merely a contractor brought in from Ukraine.  He knew nothing.  

It was when they called him by his real name did Lucas finally realize that maybe this time, the game was up.  This time, they finally got him.  

Lucas North, they said.  We know who you are.  Your own boss told us your name and where to find you.  And the man you seek - Mikhael Lubienko - he is where you and your boss can ever find him at all.  He is dead.

And that was when Lucas knew, as they draped the cloth over his face and began pouring the water over it, water seeping into his nose as he screamed for help that would never come, that this time, he’d been betrayed.