Jonah Clarke Is Not Gay

Jonah Clarke Is Unprepared

The next morning there is a strained awkwardness between Daniel and Jonah.

Daniel isn't entirely sure how to describe it, it's not like the two are arguing or that Daniel can even pinpoint exactly why either one of them is annoyed. But there is definitely a lot of unsaid things hanging between them and they seem to be getting in the way of Daniel being able to do anything close to apologising.

And so when Jonah falls into step beside Daniel as soon as Daniel steps off the bus, silence still cloaks the two of them, threaded with a tension that Daniel never thought he'd feel around Jonah.

When Jonah does begin to talk it's clear that he's intent on clearing the air after last night but Daniel quickly changes the subject, desperate to talk about anything else. He knows that the two of them should probably talk about it, explain either side of the argument but talking about it means that Daniel has to acknowledge that Jonah saw him being embarrassed and that means having to admit to Jonah that everything his brother says is probably true. It means peeling back the protective layers that Daniel has built up over the years and exposing the thirteen year old boy who came out to his family on a random Sunday afternoon and Daniel just doesn't think he's ready for that.

Not that he's going to admit all of that to Jonah either.

Jonah is obviously taken aback by Daniel's refusal to talk about the entire situation and Daniel can't say he's surprised. After all most people would be thrilled to have friends offering to help with the situation but Daniel can't help but listen to the part of his mind that still keeps on telling him that maybe this is just a repeat of everything that happened before, that maybe Daniel is destined to continue living the same loop over and over again until the day her dies. Daniel trusted Charlie with this information, and Daniel doesn't intend on making the same mistakes again. Especially not after Charlie thought it would be oh so hilarious to tell everyone about it after the reveal. The only reason why Daniel's brother didn't put up much of a fight when Daniel asked to change schools.

Speaking of Charlie, Daniel still hasn't replied to his text. His fingers have hovered over the keypad plenty of times, puzzling over exactly what it is he should say but as of yet he hasn't been able to find the right words. Daniel knows he should refuse, that Charlie Martin doesn't deserve for Daniel to give him the time of day – after all Jonah said as much – but Daniel almost wants to. It's as if he's afraid that if he doesn't confront Charlie then Charlie is going to be shadow lurking in his past forever, and Daniel doesn't want that.

It doesn't mean that he wants to see Charlie though; in fact the idea of seeing the boy makes Daniel feel physically sick and he can feel another panic attack building up inside him. Jonah had given a hurried explanation of why Charlie was texting him last night, a vague apology regarding him being drunk and stupid. But Daniel has read the text, knows that he can never be as brave in real life as he appears over text.

Isaac can obviously sense the awkward atmosphere when he approaches them as Daniel can see the way that Isaac looks between the two of them with a confused expression on his face. At least Isaac finds it weird too; Daniel was starting to worry that maybe he was just making a big deal out of the silence.

But now that he thinks about it, the silence is really weird. Because Jonah and Daniel never run out of things to talk about, in fact it's more like they run out of time to talk about things and now here they are wasting this valuable time, when Daniel could be learning about Jonah's favourite animal or what Jonah thinks of the royal family but instead they're stood in a stupid silence all because Daniel is too stubborn to accept Jonah's help.

"What's your favourite animal?" Daniel blurts out.

Both Isaac and Jonah look at him in shock, confused as to his sudden question but it does the trick. And Daniel can see that a smile is slowly spreading across Jonah's face, Jonah realises what it is that Daniel is trying to do, that this is Daniel's wayward version of an apology.