It's Just Ann

Chapter 36 - Counterattack

Although the doctors have reassured us Father is stable now, that we thank goodness acted fast, and that he is a very lucky man, I'm still shaking. No matter what Teru, my mum, Sol or even my grandma say, I'm convinced it's my fault. If I had thought better before opening my mouth, if I hadn't lost our big investor, if I had done more, this wouldn't have happened to father.

Well, it is impressive I didn't ruing everything sooner. Considering I'm just a stupid teenager girl playing adult, I lasted more than I had ever thought possible. In all honesty, what was Father thinking when he made me the acting CEO? Even Teru would've made a better job than I. That I'm the heiress of the company is a fact no one can deny, but I have not been prepared. Until the decision was made I believed I wouldn't even touch Tachibana Productions. I thought Father didn't want me to ever take care of it because he knew I wasn't capable of such a thing, after all he never trained me for it. I wonder if the stroke he had left sequels no one told us about.

At first, when Mum tells me I can come in and see Father, I refuse. I'm both ashamed and too shaken up to face him, but then I realise I need to properly apologise to him. That thought is what makes me go into the private room where he is. I'm expecting him to be sleeping, but it's been over twenty-four hours since he got the stroke, and the surgery. Needless to say, it's been complete chaos everywhere, I haven't even gone to the office, letting Teru handle everything.

I should've done that since the beginning.

"Otousan," I call when I notice he's awake, looking very feeble but his eyes find me when I close the door behind me. Mum is next to him, controlling his bed so he is in a more sitting position. Without waiting for a word from him, I kneel, lowering my head, my hands in fists over my knees. "Moushiwake gozaimasen," I repeat what I said when he had the stroke, this time he is able to hear me.

I shut my eyes tightly, trying to keep the tears from falling again. I'd be shameless if I cried in front of him after all I did.

"Ann-chan," he calls, his tone pleading even in his weak state. "Stand up, my girl. I don't want to see you on your knees." He's switched to English, probably having Mum in mind because she doesn't speak Japanese. "You don't have to apologise."

"But it was my fault, Otousan! Everything that happened is my fault, your stroke, this big problem. It's all my fault!" I can't help it, tears stream down my cheeks, sign of humiliation and the guilt I feel. "I'm so sorry, I ruined it all."

"Ann-chan," he tries again. I can barely see him through my tears. "When Life throws rocks at you, what do you have to do?"

"Dodge them?" I venture, making him chuckle, which isn't a good thing, he's too weak for that and even Mum panics. "Gomennasai!"

"Although that seems clever, that's not what you do, because if you dodge them, Life will keep throwing stones at you, and at some point you'll get tired of dodging them. What you do instead is fighting back. Even if the first rock hit you, you stand up and fight back until Life learns that you're strong enough and can deal with what it throws at you."

"What if I'm not strong enough?" I ask because I'm not confident, the shoes I'm trying to fill are too big for me.

"Then Life wouldn't be throwing rocks at you. No matter how much Life makes us suffer, it is wiser than any of us, and it is only trying to make us stronger."

I want to say that's easy for him to say, because he's so capable and has always been successful, he's always been good at everything he does. Why would Life throw rocks at him when he's already so strong? But I can't tell that to him, I won't talk back to Father, so instead I just lower my head again.