Fix Me Alpha

Chapter 3

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I think you're all clean now." He says as he finishes rinsing me off.

Reaching over he grabs a cloth and lathers it with soap, smiling down at me, eyes crinkling with secrete wickedness. Handing me the cloth he says,

"My turn."

I grab the cloth and wipe him down, just like he's shown me how too many times before. His chest, his legs, and his arms are clean, and I go to grab the shampoo, only to be stopped. He cocks his head to the side and pulls a grin across his face.

"You missed a spot." He says playfully.

I never told mommy about this part. I never knew that I should. In fact daddy told me God would hate me if I told mommy what we did, because what we did was a secret. Just for me and him. I smile up at him, knowing what he's told me before. I washed him thoroughly until he told me enough. He hugs me, turns the shower off, and continues to dry my body. Daddy keeps me safe. Daddy shows his love for me this way. This is all I know.

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I lurch up in my bed clutching my chest, breathing heavily. I take deep breaths, trying to calm down, but my attempts are futile as I begin to sob. This is nothing new to me. Nightmares come frequently, especially lately now that the truth is out in the open. Nerves are getting the best of me. Right now I'm still waiting for The Crown to decide if there is enough evidence to take him to court. The officer had called me, telling me that Damien had been picked up at his house to be questioned. I never felt safe after that. After they let him in on everything that had been going on. I just hope he never finds out that I'm going to school here... who knows what he'll do.

 My father. No, not my father, Damien, he stopped being my father a long time ago.  Damien remarried a nice woman, Sarah, who was ten years younger than him. Sarah had already had a daughter, Margaret, when she met him seven years ago, when I was ten. The following year they moved in together, we were all so close. I loved Sarah so much, once the move was complete everything stopped. He no longer had private sessions with me. I'm very grateful for it, those were the years that I started learning about sex. What was wrong and what was right. I started finding out that I wasn't being irrational when I cried. I was just trying to save myself.

 I visited every summer, and I would go back to Lynx Lake knowing just a little more about how wrong what he did to me was.  When I was little I remember he used to throw the remote at my head if I stood in front of the television as he watched baseball. I remember getting the hardest beating of my life, all because I was talking and singing into the fan. Nothing happened from when I was eleven, all the way until I was fifteen.

Sarah, Damien, and Margaret were outside playing on the mini swing set. It was very hot and humid that day which gives me huge headaches, so I was inside sitting on the couch watching them. Watching Damien keep glancing back at me with anger, I knew what was coming. I've always had trouble swallowing pills, and each time I got a headache, someone would be there to try and make me take an Advil. I put my head in my hands as he head over. I really didn't want to deal with this right now, but against my wishes, there he stood glaring down at me. 

 "Take these." He demands as he thrusts two pills in my face.

 "No. I'll be fine." I shake my head being my stubborn self.

"I swear to god, if you don't take these fucking pills I'll beat the shit out of you." He lowers his voice, "Sarah is worried. She wants you to come outside, so get the fuck over it." He finishes in a hiss.