Bad || muke au

100

dear luke,

i know my leaving is rather too fast and abrupt but i hope you understand. you are the best thing that's ever happened to me in so long and no one has ever loved me like you do.

wait, do you even love me? i just assume you do because of our kiss last night. it felt amazing, luke. you felt amazing and i can never thank you enough for everything you've done for me.

we might have only known each other for a very short period, but the mixtapes we exchanged, the comic books we read together, every bond was shared throughout those little things we did and i felt a strong connection between us.

every morning i wake up with a smile on my face because i know that i'm going to see you. i'm going to sit in that lame bus next to you, i'm going to go to school with you, i'm going to hang out with you for the rest of the day, and you're going to tell me bad jokes just to make me laugh.

only my dad's jokes cracked me up, luke. not even spongebob or tom & jerry can make me laugh anymore but you somehow can and that's so surreal. this impact you have on me is so strong and solid.

i like having you around, you make me feel content. you make me feel special. you make me feel loved. your whole family accepts me like i'm a part of it and i've never felt the love, luke.

i never had brothers. i never had any siblings at all and my mom's barely there for me anymore. all i hear when she's home is her fight with eric, my step dad. he's a dick, luke. when did they lose their happiness?

he hurt me, he hurt my mom, he trash-talked my dad. he broke me. he shattered every piece of me that i've been putting back together and i can't take that anymore.

i'm a bad person, luke. i don't want to hurt you; the new light of my life. you told me that you love the things i hate about myself, you held me tight in your sleep, you mumbled sweet nothings in my ear as we fell asleep and i'll savor every moment.

i promise you that i'll never forget them. but you'll have to forget about me, luke. i'm sorry. i'm too broken to be fixed and you're too good to be ruined by a bad person like me.

i love you, luke hemmings.

and every night you'll count the stars, trying to know their exact amount. but those countless nights won't end, just like the time it takes to fix my heart. to fix me. to fix everything.

forget about me, sunshine. you deserve better.

i love you, so much.

-michael.

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an epilogue and an important author's note will be up tomorrow. i love you beautiful readers for putting up with me throughout this whole saddening story. don't archive it just yet :)

thank you