Nothing to Gain (Watty Awards 2013)

Chapter One: Why Couldn't I Have That

Chapter One: Why Couldn’t I have that!

...Those storm clouds gathered in her eyes. Her daddy was mean old mister. Mamma was an angel in the ground... There's not enough rain... to wash the sins out of that house. There's not enough wind... to rip the nails out of the ground.  Blown Away by Carrie Underwood

 

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Floating through space and time, I felt everything; every life form – from the worms in the ground to the birds in the sky. I could feel life down to the cellular level. It was empowering to feel a part of something so big and grand. I was the grand design itself. And I knew all, yet I knew nothing because I understood nothing. Still, I could obliterate anything and everything, all I need is time. They would not see it coming.

             

Edited! 6/9/14

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“Wake up,” my wolf whispered to me. I got up with a start and looked around my little closet. I couldn't see anything, so I felt around my surrounding with my bony fingers. I crawled towards my door and felt thankful that I didn't bump into anything. I chuckled at my idiocy; of course, I didn't hit anything because there was nothing in the way. I had no belonging except an old thin comforter I used during the winter.

I couldn't use my eyes much especially since they were screaming in pain from looking around the dark closet; they still hurt from the last beating. I felt up the door knob and use both hands to get up. My body protested from the pain this caused me. When I finally stood up, I was breathing irregularly. Tears prick my eyes, but I knew they wouldn't fall; they stopped a long time ago.

Opening the door slowly, I cringed when it creaked in protest. I stopped and held my breath, praying to any higher power that nobody heard it. I waited, when nothing happened I let out my breath slowly and pushed the door a little wider, just enough to squeeze my bony figure out.

After I was out, I look back at the door and thought better before I could close it. I learned my lesson last time. I woke up Krista one day when the door creaked loudly from me trying to shut it. I still have nightmare from it. The door helped me today, so let's not push my luck that is if I had any. I gave one last grateful look at the door, silently thanking it for cooperating with me this time.

Tipping toe down the stairs, I used my hands to navigate my way around. I was too terrified to turn on the lights. I reach the bottom, feeling my way around the kitchen; good thing my little closet was right above it. I breathed a sigh of relief and turned on the lights. I instantly closed my eyes slowly opening them to get use to the brightness.

Looking around the kitchen, I was mesmerized by how beautiful it was. Everything was clean from the stove to the rich reddish mahogany countertops and covers. Five gigantic refrigerators lined the wall blending well with everything else. I walk up to them touching everything in admiration. I didn't know beauty because brutality is all I ever received, but I can clearly say this is it.

"I think she decorated it," my wolf said quietly. I jumped, not from her voice because I was used to that, but from what she said. I knew it was true, I heard them talking about it. No wonder they despised me. I took away a woman who created something so beautiful. I murdered her. I was utterly worthless. I felt sorrow come over me, clouding my mind and leaving my inside hollow.