Ten | newtmas

three

    I look down at my bag, packed neatly and sitting in the middle of my bed. There are thousands of butterflies in my stomach.

    We leave in ten minutes, which is enough time to dust my room some more. I pick up the duster off of my dresser and start dusting. I've grown used to doing my walking routine around my room. Its distracting though, while I'm doing chores.

    Theres a knock at my room door, and I turn around to see my mom opening the door.

    "Newt, someone came to see you!" my mom says, stepping aside.

    Entering the room is my "friend" Teresa. She walks toward me and stops when she gets three feet from me. My mom smiles and closes the door.

    Teresa is the girl that lives next door to us. My mom has been setting us up since we were babies. We used to have three play dates a week, then when we got older we carpooled to school.

    Truth is, I think my mother wants us to get married some day. She wanted us to be high school sweethearts and ride off into the sunset.

    Honestly, I don't like her that way. I can't bring myself to see her as anything other than a friend. I've never been the one to have a crush on anyone. Even when I was little, I only had three or four kiddie crushes on some girls here and there before middle school. But I never liked her that way, and the concept makes me quite uncomfortable.

    She goes to a separate school, a private school. So since high school started I haven't seen her as much as I used to. An occasional family dinner or barbecue, but thats it.

    "Hi," I say. We haven't talked in quite a while but our mothers are close so I'm sure she knows all about me. So now, I'm not sure of what to say. Not that I ever am.

    I think back to the last time I did know what to say to a friend. It must have been a few years ago. Alby. I had a few friends, but he was the one I was truly myself with. And now he's a stranger to me too.

    "Hey," she says. Like a meter in my head, I remember I'm on step seven. So I complete the final three steps and sit down on my bed. She follows suit while I snap ten times, the sound like nails on a chalkboard in the momentary silence.

    "So, uh, how are you?" she asks. I look over at her and raise my eyebrows, and she laughs. I smile a bit too, and then I stare up at my wall.

    "I've been better. What about you?" I ask. Thank god my mom gave me slightly more than my usual anxiety medication dosage this morning. I'd be dying even more right now.

    "I'm okay," she says. Theres a long awkward pause after that.

    "So I'm guessing you heard about me?"

    "Oh. Um. Yeah, I did. My mom told me."

    I readjust myself on the bed and put my head in my hands, hoping she'll take the hint.

    "I thought so."

    "I think it's a good thing. I think it'll be good for you."

    Oh, and who made you the expert on whats good for me? She has nothing to "think".

    "Yeah. Okay, I have to finish packing, but it was nice seeing you again," I lie, finding an excuse for her to leave before I get frustrated. She nods and gets up, crossing the room. She looks back at me one last time before exiting.

    I sigh, and run my hand through my hair. I know whats coming next.

    My mom opens the door and walks in with a sheepish smile.