Smosh Switched (A Smosh Fanfiction)

Chapter 3- Let's Go to the Mall

Anthony Padilla

My car was full, Ian riding shotgun with Billy and Charlie in the back seat. "Since we're girls for the time being, I guess we'll use she instead of he?" I asked my friend as we were stopped at the read lights.
"I guess so." Ian shrugged, rummaging through her bag for a brush.
"Are we there yetttt?" Billy asked with a Cheshire Cat like grin, bouncing up and down on his seat. The kid seemed to be overly excited.
"Almost." I answered with a chuckle, then glanced down at my boobs for a second.
Wow I have huge jugs. Why haven't I fondled them yet? Do girls even do that? Or do guys just do? I shrugged, I'll do it later with my door locked.
"You missed the turn idiot." Ian muttered.
I must have been lost in my train of thought. "Sorry.... Sis." I turned the car around and managed to find a parking spot in the garage.
"You know you poofs are going to get strange looks." The drunk guinea pig said in his raspy British voice as we went though the doors.
"And get checked out, I mean my ass is fabulous." I winked and laughed.
"Mine's sexier." The bowl banged girl retorted, shaking her butt a little.
"Guys, I mean girls... You need clothes that's the first order of business." The boy with the propeller said, trying to get us back on track. "Time is running out."
Where did I hear that before?
"Right. Let's go get clothes. Where the fuck do girls even shop?" I asked, as we went up the escalator.
"I remember going to Garage with Melanie." My best friend replied.
"You proofs have fun with that, I need some BOOZE." Charlie muttered and hopped out of the kid's pocket.
"There's no bo-." Billy stopped when he realized Ian's pet was already gone.
We went into the store and looked around. Pffft, shopping can't be that hard right? Girls like wearing skinny jeans, jeggings, oversized hoodies, cute shirts...... Could I pull off a crop top? Hell yeah.
Ian and I gathered a bunch of clothes then went to the dressing rooms. Damnnn I look fine in jean shorts and this green crop top.
I saw what my friend had decided on, of course she has leggings and a hoodie with a smiling pink frosted sprinkle donut on it. Whoever designed that totally stole it from Smosh.
Ian went up to the counter first.
"The donut one huh? It's one of my favourites, it reminds me of Smosh." The girl at the cash register smiled.
"You're a fan? Cool, I am too." The bowl banged girl replied as she paid.
I must say, that was impressive improv. I bought my clothes and we left Garage.
"We should go change ." I suggested, as we were about to pass the bathroom.
Ian nodded, and we went in.
Ugh I hate public bathrooms. I gagged as I hauled on my shorts, accidentally setting off the motion sensor flush. "Oh crap." The poop began to rise, and water spilled out. "AHHHH GROSS!!" I put my hoodie back on and ran out of the bathroom, screaming like a girl.
"You okay?"
Ian and Billy were waiting for me.
"Yeah, I just got into a shitty situation." I laughed, and sneakily fixed my panties.
"Poop jokes will never get old." She chuckled in reply. We high fived.
"Never." I grinned. "Where n-"
The boy with the propeller hat interrupted me. "WHAT ARE THOSE!?" His jaw dropped to the floor. I chuckled, noticing he referenced a Vine.
I turned to see what Billy was looking at, it was the Victoria's Secret and PINK window.
"Those are bras idiot, and when they come off you see a whole new world." The British guinea pig told the kid.
I covered Billy's ears. "Shut up Charlie, he's too young for that."
The drunk rodent grunted.
"We do need bras though." Ian laughed. "You guys stay out here."
The boy nodded, and plopped his butt cheeks on the bench.
I can remember when we used to go bra shopping with Kalel, but I only went a couple times.
"There's sooo many." I grinned, grabbing a bunch that looked my size. My friend did the same.
We went to try them on, and I picked out the ones that felt and looked the best, keeping on the most comfortable one.
"Thanks for shopping ladies." The cashier smiled.
"No problemo......" The bowl banged girl replied and then looked at me. "Girls at the counter are always so smiley." She laughed.
"It's about time you poofs are done, the kid wants his bloody animal crackers he left in the car." Charlie rasped.
"One cannot rush bra shopping, and my boobs feel wonderful. Now I know why girls wear bras." Ian replied as we headed back out to the parking garage.
"Damn girls, you're looking fiiiiiiine."
"Gimme a piece of that ass."
I turned a saw a couple teenage boys looking us up and down, so I decided to do what any girl would do. I flipped them off. "In your dreams, fuckboys." I laughed, then noticed my voice was higher.
"Oh lord." Ian added, her voice was higher too. We were turning more girly as time went by.
"We gotta hurry." Billy remarked.
We were almost to the car, when I heard a familiar robotic voice.
"Personal robot slave awaiting your command."
I turned to the right, and saw a small army of....
Biotches.
"Leave, shoo. Biotch." My best friend commanded, but they didn't listen to her.
"Seize Ian and Anthony, keep them alive." The lead bot said, and they came towards us.
"Antoinette must be in control." Billy gulped.
I looked at Ian, and she nodded. I drew my green rock candy lightsaber as the biotches surrounded us.
The kid put Charlie in his pocket and stayed back. My friend took out her blue rock candy lightsaber.
"Ready?" I looked to Ian and then back at the robots.
"Ready." The bowl banged girl replied, and the blotches came towards us.