The Gay Delusion

26: The Grinning Delusion

Sooooo sorry it's taken me more than three weeks to update!! Will reply to all your beautiful comments on the last chapter sooooon! I LOVE YOU ALL! xoxo

OH! And *MATURE CONTENT* this chapter!!

26: The Grinning Delusion

My jaw was aching. (And not for the reasons you're thinking of, you perverts.)

I had been beaming every second since Griffin and I had said goodbye, physically unable to loosen my facial muscles because of the happiness shimmying through my veins. The things we had said and done today just kept replaying in my head, like a movie I was continuously rewinding so I could watch my favourite scenes over and over again.

I couldn't stop thinking about him. His face, his eyes, his smile. I knew I was acting like a love-struck adolescent, but all of the feelings I had locked away for so long were leaving me nearly gasping, so overwhelmed with raw emotion I hadn't thought I was capable of feeling.

Nova had given me a slightly startled look when I came home resembling The Joker.

'I take it things went well, then?' she asked with a tinkling laugh herself.

'Pretty well,' I said, feeling my grin widen. (A feat I had thought was anatomically impossible.) I wanted to dance. I wanted to pump my fists up in the air and whoop repeatedly. I wanted to get wasted and scream from a rooftop that "Laina Carter freaking loves life!" Maybe I would get that tattooed.

Nova simultaneously let out a cheer and rolled her eyes. 'Oh come on, woman, you have to give me more info than that! Judging by your face, it looks like it went amazingly well!' she sang, grabbing my hands and swinging them between us as we flopped down on the sofa and sat facing each other. 'Have you got yourself a boyfriend?'

I laughed, scrunching up my nose. 'I don't know if that's exactly what he is yet,' I replied honestly. 'We're taking things slowly.'

She nodded, her smile becoming earnest as she squeezed my hand. Her face was earnest and overjoyed as she told me, 'I'm really proud of you, babe.'

The smile on my face finally broke as I bit my lip, suddenly overcome by the lump in my throat. Looking at her, I was thinking about how many things had happened in the years and years that Nova and I had been friends. We were both fully fledged adults now, on the cusp of the greatest, most real things. I didn't know if I wanted time to slow down so I could savor every second, or if I wanted it to speed up so I could see how this would all pan out in the very end.

'Look how far we've come since the days where we would stow cardboard cut-outs in school toilets,' I said, raising my gaze to the ceiling and quickly brushing away a stray tear which I felt trickling down my face. All of this smiling was making me cry. And all of this crying as a result of all of this smiling was making me cringe. Calm your overly happy tits, Laina.

'Don't cry, crazy girl! Although I'm about to cry thinking about the days when Mr Peterson told us we were probably going to end up in jail together - you for committing murder and me for being your accomplice,' Nova said, laughing and giving me a spontaneous hug as all these memories, long forgotten, came flooding back. Her feathery brown hair was soft against my face and neck as we just sat there like that with our arms around each other in a long hug.

'This is all too emotional,' I said, burying my face in her shoulder. 'We're acting like I'm getting married.'

I felt Nova freeze a little at that. Drawing away from her, my hands were still on her shoulders as I gave her a questioning look.