Things I Could Never Tell You

97, 98, 99

Text #97.

April 6, 5:00 pm.

Shit. Today, out of nothing, mom said she would do a barbecue and that she would invite the Scotts. My mind immediately stopped. That meant you were coming here, just like old times. I called Sophie for her to come and she did. I picked out some pair of high waisted studded shorts, a Rolling Stones loose shirt and some flat sandals. I let my hair down and put on some eyeliner. I was ready. Sophie did the same. In an hour, the house was full with family and friends. Some minutes later, your dad's car parked on the front of the house. I felt my heart starting to beat faster and faster at each passing second. Sophie ran to the bathroom to apply another layer of lipstick. Great. Just plain great. You got out of the car, and it was hard to catch my breath. Your hair looked like it had been swept by the wind, and you were a Ray-Ban. You were wearing a plain white v-neck shirt, that even though it was so normal, it made you look gorgeous. Your jeans were ripped and you were some combat boots. I thought you'd never go for that kind of outfit, but I guess you changed a lot. I didn't have the guts to face you, so I just ran to my room and locked the door. I sat in bed and just stared at the wall. Five minutes later, I walked up to the stairs and crept through it. Sophie was sitting on your side, giggling like a fool. I immediately felt bothered and annoyed. I checked my face one more time in the mirror and went downstairs. I could feel my heart hammering in my chest by every step I gave. Your eyes caught gaze of me and you took your sunglasses off.

"Hey, Stephanie." You said while I felt like frowning.

Stephanie. Of course. The Tyler who called me 'S' or 'Steph' was long gone.

"Hey..." I said, more coldly than I intended.

It's like all of the times we spent together, was forgotten. Like they had been replaced. I felt like crying.

You walked over to me and gave me anakward hug. I could feel your scent. It remained the same. At least it didn't change when you did. Sophie tried to catch your attention in multiple attempts. They kind of failed, which I can't say that it made me sad. While we were eating, you told me that it had been a long time since we had spoken and that I never talked to you in school. I looked into your eyes, and the only thing I could do was shake my head in disappointment. I left the table and ran to my room. My appetite had disappeared. I didn't talk to you? Bullshit. Anger and sadness collided against each other, almost bringing them with me. How could you have changed so much? How the hell did you become such a damn good liar? 

Text #98.

April 7, 9:52 am.

You suck.

Text #99.

April 8, 11:14 pm.

I hope you step on a Lego.