Hidden Behind a Smile

Defining: Know the Meaning

Depression: a condition of general emotional dejection and withdrawal; sadness greater and more prolonged than that warranted by any objective reason

I'm looking at this dictionary definition and i'm thinking, "it's so much more than that" A dictionary, a picture, not even words can describe how a "depressed" person feels. Why the quotes around the word? Well... I'm sitting here and I'm say to to myself, "I'm depressed." "i feel depressed." But that doesn't quite sound right. I think the proper term is broken.

"I feel broken. I feel like an abused toy. A toy that has been traded out for a new model, but looked at sometimes because there's some things that only the old model has."

Its so hard to describe the feeling. So try imagining this:

Take a stick. Now, hit the stick against something. Now its cracked, maybe some of the bark came off. It's still fine, just damaged. Now hit it some more until it breaks. Now repair it with some super glue and duct tape. Do this a few times until you have a bunch of spots patched up. Now paint over it so the spots are barley visible, to hide the damage. Now "forget" about it and leave it out in the rain, and the damage will begin to show again. Now break the stick again. This obviously can't go on forever. Sooner or later the stick will be nothing.

This is the best i can describe it right now. But as far as i can tell, at least for me anyway, it's an accurate representation of everything that goes on. It's an endless cycle.

Some people just don't understand. And that's okay. They don't have to.