After 2

Chapter 106.

When I get to my car I don't cry like I had assumed I would. I just sit and stare out the window. The snow sticks to my windshield, blanketing me inside the space of my car. I can't believe that Harry came here while I was here, I had hoped to not see him. It did help though, not the pain but the situation in general. At least now I can try to move on from this disastrous time in my life. I want to believe him and that he does love me but I got into this situation by believing him. He could just be acting like this because he knows he doesn't have control over me anymore. Even if he does love me what would that change? It wouldn't take back everything he did, it wouldn't take back all the jokes, the terrible bragging about the things we did, or the lies.

I wish I could afford that apartment on my own, I would stay there and make Harry leave. I don't want to go back to the dorms and get a new roommate, I don't want a community shower. The woman that came to look at the apartment will love it and I am happy for her. I try to tell myself. She looked at me like I was insane as I rushed by her in the hallway but I could not care less. I know that Harry can't make any official decisions about the apartment without my permission because my name is on the lease but I have no choice than to agree to whatever he decides. I can't live there on my own and I most certainly can't live there with Harry. Why did he have to mess everything up? We could be inside that apartment right now, laughing on the couch or kissing in the bedroom. But instead, I am in my car alone with no where to go.

I am glad that Harry didn't follow me down but I feel a little guilty for saying Noah was with me, I know that had to hurt him even if he doesn't love me the way he claims. It hurt his ego at least.

When I finally start my car, my hands are frozen. Couldn't I be homeless in the summer? I feel like Catherine again, only not my usual Wuthering Heights Catherine. This time Catherine in Northanger Abbey is whom I relate to, shocked and forced to make a long journey alone. Granted, I am not making a seventy mile journey but still, I feel her pain. I cannot decide who Harry would be this time. On one hand he is like Henry, smart and witty with a knowledge of novels as great as mine. However, Henry is much kinder than Harry and that's where Harry is more like John, arrogant and rude.

As I drive through town with no where to go I realize that Harry's words had a bigger impact on me than I would like to admit. Him begging me to stay almost put the pieces back together just to break them again. I am sure he just wanted me to stay to prove that he could. My phone hasn't rang since I drove away fifteen minutes ago and I cant decide how I feel about that.

I find myself a block away from Vance, it's only five in the evening. I don't want to take advantage of Liam by asking him to stay at Ken's house again. I know he wouldn't mind, but its not fair of me to put Harry's family in the middle of this and honestly that house holds too many memories. I couldn't stand it. I pass a street full of hotels and pull into one of the nicer looking hotels and park my car. I have never stayed at a hotel before but I don't have another option right now.

I find the red blinking "office" sign and rush inside. The short man behind the counter looks friendly enough as he smiles at me and asks for my drivers license. Getting a hotel room is much easier than I thought it would be, a little expensive but I don't want to stay at a cheap hotel and risk my safety. He gives me a key card and smiles.

"Down the sidewalk and make a left." He instructs. I am glad this hotel has the rooms on the outside so I can come and go in peace.

I thank him and go back into the blistering cold. I move my car to the spot next to my room so I don't have to carry my bags. This is what I have come to because of him, I am staying in a hotel, alone with all my belongings stuffed into bags. I was too frantic earlier to even fold them so I can't imagine how my clothes look now. I grab my bags and lock my car, my car is junk compared to the BMW parked next to me. Just as I think my day could not get any worse, I lose my grip on one of my bags and drop it onto the snowy sidewalk. My clothes and a few books topple out. I am afraid to see which books they are, I don't think I can take my favorite possessions being ruined along with me, not today,