Pure

thirty six

Hi,

Some of you seem to have missed chapter 'thirty five' because I updated after that very quickly. It's important you read thirty five before this one, because this one leads on to it.

Thank you.

Also, I made a new cover :) I'm very proud of it and like it very much :)

Made in the A.M came out yesterday and fucked me up.

Bye.

* * * * * *

I decided to get out of the house via the window. Not wanting to go past my mother since she didn't want to see me and my slutty face anymore.

Would she really not care anymore?

At all?

The thought of my own mother not loving me anymore makes me sick. But I guess it's true. She threw me out of the house after all.

I'm glad I still have Harry who I can depend on.

"My home is your home", he texted me. That made my heart skip a beat and made my tummy feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside.

I stand on the roof of the little shed that's under my window.

How the fuck am I gonna get down?

I first throw my bag down and then take a seat on the edge of the shed, jumping down carefully. However, I fell on the ground and cut my arm on something.

I decide to ignore it, so I grab my bag once again and cross the street over the Harry's house.

I knock on Harry's door 2 times. He opened it and greets me with a small smile and a kiss on my cheek, "Come on in, love."

As soon as the door closes behind me I drop my bag, break down and cry. I couldn't hold back anymore. I was emotional. Emotional, because my mother threw me out. But also, because I thought Harry wouldn't love me anymore.

But he still does.

Does he?

He says he does.

So he must.

He loves me.

"Oh, Luce.. C'mere, babe." Harry says as he opens his arms wide for me. I fall into them and he wraps his arms tightly around me, rubbing my back sweetly, "I don't like to see you cry, my angel."

Angel.

"It's all gonna be okay. You have me. Don't worry about it. I will take care of my little baby girl." he places soft kisses on my head.

"D-Do I?"

"You do have me, love. Why wouldn't you?"

"I thought y-you wouldn't l-love me anymore."

"Of course I would, you silly. What makes you think that?" he wraps an arm around my waist and guides me in to his warm, welcoming living room. We sit down on his couch. Well, he sits down and I lay down, my head resting on his lap. His right hand is on my stomach and his left one is playing with my hair.

There are lit candles on the small table in front of us. It's dark outside, so the curtains are closed. The only light sources in the room are the candles and a small flower shaped lamp in the corner of the room. It's pretty cozy.

"Tell me what happened." Harry's deep, raspy voice breaks the silence, startling me a bit. He noticed this and quickly apologised.

"I don't know if you heard her yelling, but she basically called me names and said you didn't love me." I started, "S-she said you were u-using me and s-she called y-you a pedophile. And she s-said I was t-trash to you. That you were gonna t-throw me away as soon as y-you.. you know, as soon as w-we had sex." I swallow the big lump in my throat.

"What do you mean she called you names?" his eyes darken a bit. He looks pretty angry if you ask me. I actually couldn't tell if it was anger or worry.

"It d-doesn't matter." I shake my head.

"It obviously does to me!" he raises his voice.

I get up from his lap and sit on the opposite side of the couch, "H-Harry, you're scaring me.." I wrap my arms around my legs, hugging them close to my chest.

"Luce.. I'm sorry, I di- What's that on your arm? You didn't hurt yourself, did you? Oh, baby!" he scoots closer to me.

"Of course I didn't! Harry, stop. I just fell."

"Oh.." he flushes red, "I, uh, I'm sorry."

"Would you consider this our first argument?" I ask carefully.

"No, no. We're just- I just- I'm worried, s'all."

It stays silent for a while. But it's an uncomfortable silence this time. Right now, I would just like to forget what happened and go to bed. I shouldn't have come here. Harry doesn't want me here.

Does he?

He doesn't.

You're trash.

Disgusting.

"Are you still gonna tell me what your mother called you?" Harry asks silently, looking at me with a soft expression on his face, snapping me out of my thoughts.

I nod slowly, "She called me a whore and said I had a slutty face. She thought I was a filthy child for being with you, because you're older than I am. She said I was trash. I am trash. I'm useless. S-she said I wasn't her daughter anymore." I sob, "And I get the feeling you don't want me around here. I just need to leave. It was a mistake coming here. I feel like I'm a burden to you. I am."

You are.

"No, baby, shh. You're not. Why would you be? Please calm down. C'mere, love."

I fall back into his arms and sob quietly, "Everything is just not how it's supposed to be."

"It'll be okay. It's gonna be." he assures me, kissing the top of my head, "We're gonna be okay."

"Promise?"

"I promise. You know I'm always gonna be there for you. I won't leave you. You're my little princess."

"H-Harry?"

"Yeah, love?"

"Do you hate me?" I ask while looking at Harry. He frowns.

He shook his head, promising, "Never. I could never hate you, I love you."

I smile, "I just thought, because I said these things and I thought- I don't know."

He smiles back at me.

The one full of fondness, admiration and love. Because I kind of expected him to hate me a bit. I don't know what I was saying. He doesn't hate me, he loves me. My mother was wrong after all. The voices in my head were wrong. I only have four words to reply with. Not wanting to say too much, but also not wanting to say nothing at all.

"I love you, too."