Chapter 1: Top and Tail

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If boy on boy situations with varying degrees of intensity, religious parents, sarcastic teachers, copious amounts of fluff, British spellings, downright daft humour and the exuberantly plentiful use of profanity offends you in any way, shape, or form, this story is probably Not for You. I regret nothing.

The utterly amazing PandaGuts is a wonderful person, who drew loads of gorgeous fanart for this story. She's a gift to the human race *3* . 

Please note that because the characters are Scottish, they speak Scots and Scottish English. Scottish English grammar is slightly different from standard British English, so some dialogue might be a bit unfamiliar if you're not local.

Cheers! =]

Completed October 2011

Featured in Teen Fiction 04/01/16

2019 update: thanks so much for all your wonderful comments. Unfortunately, I can't respond to everyone individually on this book as there's just too many to keep up with, but please know that I still read and appreciate every single comment. If you do want to chat, I try to reply to all my PMs and profile messages :)

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Despite the fact that I was indeed fifteen years old, my mother and father still thought that if they sent me up to my bedroom while they 'discussed things' in low hushed tones, I wouldn't twig that something was going on. Which was why, at ten o'clock on a Saturday night, I had my face pressed up against a keyhole, trying to make out their quiet whispering.

"Well they've taken her into hospital."

I frowned. That was my mother's voice. She sounded stressed and more than slightly worried.

"And they don't know how long she'll be in but they're guessing at least another month or so."

My dad coughed and the couch squeaked, meaning he must have shifted over to sit beside my mum. I closed one eye and squinted into the keyhole, but I couldn't get a good view through the fine gap in the metal.

"Look Tracey, everything will be fine," my dad shushed, trying to halt my mum's soft sobbing. "Linda will be ok. And for the meantime, I've got no problem taking in Jay for a while... We're his Godparents after all, so it really is our responsibility."

What?

"Yeah," my mum sniffed, wringing her hands. "Why don't you go collect him after we explain everything to Ash?"

At the mention of my name I stood up a little straighter... and knocked the door open in the process.

"Um... Explain what?" I asked cautiously, trying desperately to keep my expression blank. Both my mum and dad saw right through the act and exchanged a panicked look, wondering how much I'd heard. I sighed.

"Look, explain what? Who's Jay?"

"How long have you been listening at that keyhole?" my dad demanded. I rolled my eyes. He was obviously trying to change the subject and I wasn't going to let him get away with it.

"Long enough," I murmured, shrugging casually as though it was the most natural thing in the world. My dad however, wasn't going to let me away that easily.

"How long have you been doing that? What if we'd been talking about something private?"

"Like what?" I snorted. I guess I was being rude, but I really didn't care. "My birthday present?"

"Family matters," my dad snapped. I raised an eyebrow.

"It's real nice that you don't consider me part of your family, dad. Thanks a lot."

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