Aftertaste | S. Mendes

Chapter 26

I sob in my room alone and quietly. Not wanting to wake my mom up. What have I done? How could I do that to Sammy?

He's the sweetest guy out there who was there during my down time.

There was a knocked on my window and it was Shawn. I got up from my floor wiping away my tears with my sleeve from my sweatshirt. I texted Sammy later that night that I called a cab to take me home because I wasn't feeling well.

I let in Shawn and sat on my bed hugging my legs and wrapped myself with my blankets. He climbed in closing the window quietly behind me.

"Hey how you feeling?" He asked wrapping his arm around my shoulder and handed me the hot chocolate.

"I hate myself" I say truthfully.
"I'm so selfish" I sniffled onto his chest.

I could just imagine the look on his face when I tell him or when he finds out. He deserves so much better.

S H A W N

There she sat, crying filled with guilt. This isn't her fault which I have told her thousands of times on our way here. This is all my fault. I'm the one who left her. I'm the one who ignored her for months. I'm the one who broke her heart and came back to get her back.

I should've just left when my eyes landed on her. Her phone vibrated on the other side of the room as it was thrown there by her. She sniffles and ignores it knowing it was him.

"Hey" I whisper.

"You should get some rest" I kissed her forehead and she laid down her bed facing the wall. I put the two empty foam cup on her desk and went over to sit on her bed.

I laid next to her as I held myself up with my elbow while the other hugged her small waist. She's so perfect. But I hated seeing her like this. It got me thinking, was this how she reacted after us?

Soon she was deep asleep with dried tears on her cheeks and her pillow was now stained with tears as well. She cared for him and it broke me deep inside. This guilt was killing me inside. Once again this is all my fault. I never should've let her go in the first place. My eyes shut and soon I was asleep as a tear slipped away.

~~~

I woke up to my phone vibrating in my jean pocket. I sat up quickly alarmed by the movement and answered the phone call and check the clock that was across the room.

4:36 A.M

"Hello?" I rubbed my eyes.

"Shawn?" their voice sounded worried. I checked the contact name to see who it was.

"Matt?" I asked. "What's going on man?" I say.

"I don't know dude, I'm panicking right now; Nova called me crying and just was saying the most awful things about herself" he says.

My heart suddenly dropped. I looked over next to me hoping to god this was all a dream. But she wasn't there. Shit. I quickly got off the bed and saw the window was open and her jacket gone.

"What the hell?" I said worried.

"Please tell me your in New York right now" he says sniffling.

"I'm actually at her place" I say as tears are forming in my eyes.

"I can't do this alone, Shawn listen to me carefully" Matt starts off slowly and I am all ears.

~~~

I drove around the places Nova usually goes when she was down. The cafe, the bridge, the park. But no sign of her was to be found. I even went on the subway for the first time alone headed to China Town and sneaked into the club where her aunt's boyfriend worked. Again nothing was there.

I suddenly felt anger inside me rise up. I went into an alleyway and punched the brick wall, turning around I slid down the wall sitting down with my hoodie on.

Now I wished I never walked into that cafe that night. She was an innocent girl with a normal life that was already headed in the right road but because of me. Nova Brooks, the girl I love was now missing in the big city. Not only that but the thought of her hurting herself killed me the most. I just hope she's okay. I hate this.

Then all of a sudden it hit me. I got up, remembering of one last place she could've been. Rain start pour and I started running to the closest subway heading back to Brooklyn.

There was one place left. The place where I realized that I had feelings for this girl.

___________________
A.N

Just wanted to let anyone out there going through a hard time right now, just know that your loved and are being watched by your guardian angel. You are strong and shouldn't let any negativity get in your way. Big things are coming for you in the future and you are going to shine above those who bring you down. If you know someone who is going through this, help them out just by your present you might of made a huge impact in their lives.

Thanks for all the votes and positive comments you guys leave. Anyways as always have a good day or night depending on what time your reading this lol. -xx

Edited // Published January 20, 2016