Crave You -N.H-

Chapter Sixteen: Missing you [EDITED]

Chapter Sixteen: Missing you

 

        It was a strange feeling going into this game without him, we had--at least I had become very accustomed to our pre game rituals. I miss it with everything in me and more. Everyday he was gone my heart broke more and more.

        I take a deep breath and pull my sock sup and over my shin pads, standing on the field. I stretch out and take in the loud atmosphere circling us. The home teams side was full with color and screams that rival our own in noise level and was equally packed.

        Brad has brought Jean up, and she beams from the crowd her face painted and her hair pulled up into ties. She waves at me and I blow her a kiss, she smiles so big that I can’t help but return it.

        I was tired, well exhausted from the week’s practices the coaches working me harder than usual and only expecting the best. The new coach was brutal and not like Niall in anyway. Niall had been a buffer between me and coach, a force stopping the intense drills when I couldn’t possibly take anymore.

        He was my guardian.

        I sigh, trying to clean my mind of him was impossible. Endless loops of images, and things he would say to me to calm me down. I lie awake most every night staring at the ceiling because when I close my eyes all I could see was him.

        His blonde hair and the way it was messy under his favorite hat. His blue eyes that brightened every day and the way they changed little bits through the weeks. His shoulders tucked under his favorite sleeveless shirts and button up.

        The way that it felt when he holds me close, his chin turned down and his nose touching mine. The soft kisses that he left on my face in the middle of the night. I close my eyes, fighting the tears threatening to fall. I take one last breath and clear my throat trying to focus back on the game ahead. Brad looks at me concerned but I smile at him to calm his nerves and my own.

        “You ready for this?” Lizzy’s voice takes my attention away from Brad and I nod running with her to take my place for the anthem.

        I look around, a small part of me hoping that last minute he would show up. That maybe he would come in out of no where and show me that he cares. But he doesn’t and I have to focus.

        This is for the best, get it together.

        When the game starts for a split second I think we are in trouble, we won’t win this game. This is it, the end. My panic setting in I start to freak out. Two goals down and I may never get the chance to be here again, I know I wont.

        I push myself hard than I know I should, but it’s not like I care at this point. I can feel my legs slipping on me, but it didn’t matter by half we had tie. It wasn’t good enough.

        Coach wasn’t happy though and rest was coming any time soon. Girl that have stepped up with continue to play, tied or not. I look at my swollen ankles sitting on the side lines, bruised and battered they won’t hold up much longer.

        I hear Brad before I see him and turn to see him pushing back through two security guards. I wave them off and he comes jogging through towards me, he kneels down to get eye level with me. He gives me a weak smile “you’re fading Sarah.”

        I look down at my ankles, not hiding their state from him. I couldn’t lose him too, I won’t. He looks at the bruises and sores that trace the pale skin, letting out a deep breath he gets up without a word. After digging quickly through a couple bags he finds tape.