Chapter 22
Richard Neil Sky
The Reasons - Part II
I'm still in shock to see my friends here with me. The feeling that I have right now, I can't explain it. I can't put it into words. And also, my old friends are with... him. The face that I have been wanting to see ever since he left me without a smile, without good-byes. He became the man I've imagined him to be. Even though he has grown up a lot, you can still see the exact features that he had when we were teenagers, and now, the image he has now looks very good on him.
There are bugs underneath his eyes, just like I have. It takes me just one look in his eyes to know that he's lonely and sad, that he regrets all the things that he has done, and as much as I want to hate him, I just can't, knowing that he has probably been through a lot.
My mother has told me once that I could see goodness in people, but I actually didn't understand her. It was a jargon to me, and I was having a hard time thinking what it meant. But then today, I realize what my mother really meant. It means, I think, that even if people have tried to hurt me, I can still feel that they have something good inside. I wasn't born to judge; I was born to live my life without cursing people.
Cade looks at me as he grabs my hand and looks into my eyes. He's looking like me like the last time he looked at me in the eyes and said 'I love you'. I can still hear his soft voice telling me that he loved me. Every part of it, I can remember it crystal clear. I have never really stopped loving Cade. I was too afraid to say the love word back then, but if I would have a chance to say it back when we were still together, then I would do it without hesitation. But there's no way to go back to the past and change everything. It seems pretty selfish of me to ask so.
I wasn't really cheating with Genny since I did really love her. But not as much as I have loved Cade. There will be a special place somewhere in my heart for Cade, and to be honest, I'm always ready, in case Cade chose to go back to me. And he did. I haven't really stopped waiting for him. I've just learned to move on without my love fading away for him. And I'm glad he came back to see me. We can stay being friends, but it will be hard for the both of us. Rekindling old flame is not in a good timing right now.
Our friends give us time to have our moment. They start standing up and going outside as they give us a reassuring smile and that's all it takes before Cade prepares himself to answer the question that has been dreading me ever since he left me; why did he leave me? Cade opens his mouth, but no words come out of it. He closes his mouth and gulps, his Adam's apple moving with sexiness. Then his eyes crinkle, and his eyes go sadder than earlier, as if he's almost about to break or just cry. I'm not ready to see him cry because I know that it will just break my heart more. I've had enough to deal and this is the only time that I have a chance to have a break, but then my friends and him came.
"First of all, I'd like to say I'm really sorry," Cade begins the sentence in a whisper, like he's afraid that he'd say something that I wouldn't like. A bead of tear rolls down his cheek and I brush it away with a thumb immediately. He gives me a sad smile. "I... I didn't want to leave you, to be honest. I just got scared..."
"I was scared, too, you know." I say and Cade hangs his head low in shame and sniffs. He shuts his eyes tight, like he never wants to open it again and see how the life works.
"I know," he starts again, giving me a sad look that has me wanting to just give him a hug and comfort him. "I got scared and I was getting married. My parents arranged a marriage for me, for the benefits of company. And I figured, if I left you, then you wouldn't know and you wouldn't be left broken. But I thought wrong. Either way, I hurt you. I contacted your friends, first one was Terry, and asked him what happened after I left, then he answered me that you became depressed. It was hard for me to leave you when all I wanted to do was to run away with you - "
"Then you should have run away with me instead of leaving me without any good-byes or reasons," I say to him as I look at him dead in the eyes. The feelings that I have kept hidden inside me are just wanting to get out, to empty myself with the burden. "Did you know how hard it was for me to just... accept or force myself to accept that you left me? I was really hurt and thought I was going to get crazy. I pushed my friends away because I knew that they would understand me, the hurt, the pain that was... it was affecting my life. It was changing me in some way that I couldn't understand! It was making me mad that I just wanted to break things and break myself even though I was already broken! What we had back then, did you even realize how I felt when we were together? I could probably say that I was the luckiest man alive! But then you left me... I can't describe the feeling. All this time, since the day you left me, I've kept everything bottled inside without letting it out. It was so hard I felt like I just wanted to die..." And right now, as I'm trying to let out what I feel about him leaving me, the tears are streaming again. Cade tries to catch my hand but I inch away, but Cade moves again and gives me a hug as tears pour down his cheeks.
"I'm sorry, Chad. I'm really sorry," Cade's voice is breaking and looking like he just wants to give up on his life. I try to pry his hands away from me but he just tightens his hold onto me.
"There were so many times that I just wanted for my life to end, Cade." I tell him while looking at a far distance. "But you know what's crazy? Even though you were the one who caused me pain, this trouble, I just wanted you to have the best life after leaving me and... I never hated you. I could never hate you."
Cade pulls away from the hug and cups my cheeks with both of his palms and looks at me in the eye, his held sadness as he gazes into mine. Even though his eyes are full of sadness, regrets, and loneliness, I can still see how beautiful his eyes are. Very precious.
"Chad. Listen to me, Chad." Cade says to me as he places his forehead against mine, his minty breath fanning my face as he keeps his face close to mine, our noses almost touching and I can see how his eyes twinkle. "From the day that I met you, I already liked you. From the moment we started dating, I already loved you. And believe it or not, I still do. Do you have any idea how many times I wished for us to get back again? How many times I... I blamed myself for being an idiot? Leaving you was the fucking, shittiest, dumbiest decision I have ever made in my whole life. I should have fought my parents' just to be with you but I did not. I had my reasons, and those reasons made me think what was best for you. But do you know what is the promise that I'm still keeping?"
"What is it?"
"I promise that I will never stop loving you."
And with that, Cade leans down and kisses me full on the lips and every part of my body reacts to the kiss and my heart beats faster than ever, like, it's running hundred miles per hour and my blood is pulsing and the taste of his lips, it's the same taste as I've tasted before. His lips are still soft and perfect, just like the way I've been dreaming and my hands find its way to get lost in his hair, then Cade pulls away and watches me.
He gives me a sad smile. "Just remember, I will never stop loving you, Richard Neil Sky. Never."
YOU ARE READING
Dating The School's Mr. Bully (BxB)
Romance[BOOK #4 of MISTER SERIES] Chad has always been the goody-two-shoes. He always makes things right and always has a positive mind. He does his assignments on time, he follows his schedules well, he eats healthy foods, he follows rules. He's...
