Age Ain't Nothing But a Number (Steve Rogers x reader)

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"Concentrate, (Y/N), you can do this. Extend the moment until the hummingbird's wings stop."

You tried to encompass the tiny bird with your thoughts, attempting to control the time in that space alone, but you could feel your grasp slipping and the manipulation starting to expand. It was a struggle to pull it back once it began to grow, but even knowing this, Dr. Banner refused to leave your side as you practiced.

"Bruce, I can't. I'm losing it."

Steve was standing on the other side of the lab window, watching you intently. He had recruited you to the Avengers and it was on him if this didn't work. If Banner couldn't figure out a way to help you hone your powers, he would have to send you away for more intense and focused training for both their safety and yours. He slammed his fist against the window ledge when he saw the doctor break your concentration before your time manipulation grew beyond your control.

"We'll get there, (Y/N). We'll keep working on it until you do, okay? Don't give up on me just yet." Bruce gave you a warm smile and a pat on your arm as you walked out of the lab towards Steve.

"You saw?"

Steve nodded, leaning against the window but not making eye contact. "Yeah, you gave it a good effort though. Really."

He was being kind. That's what friends did; cushioned the blow so when the real hit came, it wouldn't hurt so badly. You knew that your time with the Avengers was limited if you couldn't lock this down. Steve may have been the team's leader, and your best bet for staying with them, but even he could only do so much if you were considered even a small threat to anyone's safety.

"I'm really scared, Steve. What if I can't get this? What if I...what if I hurt someone?" He grabbed your hands when you began wringing them together, making an attempt to support you and calm your nerves. "Please, don't try to placate me. Let me feel this."

"I wasn't trying...I'm not, (Y/N). I'm trying to be supportive. I'm your friend," he said. "Your best friend, the last time I checked." He put his hand under your chin and lifted so you would look at him. "I'm not going to let you fail."

His eyes were so beautiful, so warm and welcoming. It was so hard to be his friend when all you wanted was more; to be able to tell him how you felt without worrying about how he would react. Looking at him now, all you could think about was what it would be like to feel your lips against his, or to feel his arms around you so that your worry could just fade away as he held you.

"I love you, Steve," you sighed, speaking without realizing the words were out loud.

"I love you too, (Y/N)."

Your eyes widened and you felt your heart beating in your chest. You didn't mean to say it, and now you were mortified. He had said it back, but you knew the context wasn't the same as your words were meant to have. Did it really matter anymore? For all you knew, you were days away from being shipped off, so what the hell.

"No, Steve. I really do."

He released your hands and took a step back, but maintained his gaze. His expression changed to shock, then confusion, and finally compassion as the impact of your words went thru his mind. "(Y/N), you can't...I can't...we..." he sighed, frustrated at his inability to get his words out. "You're 19."

"I'm days from 20."

"And I'm 31." Steve raised his eyebrows and rolled his eyes dismissively, "well, 97 if we're gonna be specific. And," he paused, grabbing your hands again, "you're my closest friend. I love you so much, but we can't ever be like that."

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