murderer - frerard

[003]

I knocked quietly on the door, half hoping no one inside the house would hear. God, I didn't want to be killed. Especially in front of my best friend, because that would be pretty fucking embarrassing.

"You're such a wuss, Iero," Ray sneered, rapping loudly on the door five times in quick succession.

I cringed; I could almost hear the voices from last night. Mikey! Get the fuck away from there!

Ten seconds passed. Twenty. I hadn't realized I'd been holding my breath until Ray nudged me with his elbow and muttered, "Your face is blue."

No sounds came from inside the house. Ray peered through one of the front windows, then reported back to me. "I don't see anything."

My heart pounded inside my chest; it felt as if it was going to break every one of my ribs and fly out of me. I swallowed, just to make sure it wasn't in my throat.

I didn't want to be here. Not now, not with Ray, not ever again until I knew I'd be safe, which was probably no time in the immediate future. I didn't want to step foot on this property until these guys moved out.

But at the same time, I wanted to know everything. I wanted to know what was going on in the house and I wanted to know the men who lived in it. I wanted to know everything there was to know about the place. I longed to memorize every corner and crevice of the house in as much detail as I knew my own. I wanted to know every secret the closets held and every lie the front door told. The longing — the pure need to learn overwhelmed me.

I was horribly relieved when Ray gave me a shrug and trudged back toward my house.

"Are you staying over tonight?" I mumbled, watching Ray give his hair a toss.

"I guess so, I mean, if you want."

I nodded, "Yeah, yeah." I wanted him to stay so I could prove that they were real. If he heard the music they played and the screams, I knew he'd realize I wasn't lying. I only wanted my best friend to believe me. I wasn't fucking lying.

Either way, we went back to my house and sat on the floor until the early hours of the morning. There was no music.

[]

I woke up with Ray's head in my lap. He was still asleep, so I lied back and tried to fall asleep again. I couldn't.

"Why'd you bring him to my house?"

My head jerked toward the bedroom door so quickly I could've given myself whiplash. Or worse: woken up Ray.

"You weren't home, it didn't matter anyway," I stammered. Fuck, there wasn't any weed in my system to save me this time.

"Of course it mattered, you fuckwit." His hair hung to his chin, splayed out in thin strands. It hadn't been washed lately. "It means you told him."

It was bothering me; I couldn't keep referring to him as 'Neighbor Guy' forever. "What's your name?"

"My name is none of your business, just like my whereabouts. I saw you yesterday."

My chest tightened. He was watching me. "What's your name?" I repeated, as if it were the only sentence I knew.

"I'd tell you my name, but it's pretty obvious that you'll tell someone who I am, and I don't necessarily need my name all around town." He gave a cruel smirk. Ray's lips parted in his sleep, letting out a sigh. I tensed significantly.

"I swear on my fucking life, the only person I have told and will tell is Ray, okay? He's my only friend," I pleaded.

"Ray," He let the name slide off his tongue as if he felt intrigued by it. I said nothing more. "'Name's Gerard, so don't worry your pretty little head about it any more, Pansy."

Ray's eye twitched and he began to sit up. When I looked away, Gerard was gone. It bothered me that I never heard his descent down the stairs or any doors slam. I guessed perhaps he was just quiet like that; I hadn't heard him approach either.

"You were just gonna sit there really still so I didn't wake up? That's kind of gay, dude." Ray's voice was thick with sleep. "Oh, wait."

"Yes, Ray, we all know, I'm gay. That's why I do gay things," I rolled my eyes. "Everyone just loves it when you make gay jokes every chance you get."

His smile grew. "I love them, dude."

"Oh? I think you meant 'I love men'."

hello i need to stop writing
           i suck