A New Kind of Pain (Barnes/Rogers x reader)

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The pain wasn't new to you. The cuts, bruises, broken bones and bleeding thru your clothes was an old friend to you now. But being captured was an experience you hadn't yet felt, and it was horrifying. To make matters worse, you were captured by some do-gooder in a stars and stripes uniform, making the embarrassment unbearable. Pain shot thru your shoulder as he held his knee into your back and pulled your arms firmly behind you. No, you wouldn't cry. You wouldn't scream for help or for mercy. Instead, you quietly planned the ways that you would tear this walking flag limb from limb to make him pay for capturing a top Hydra operative. You would make him beg and plead for mercy as you made an example of him in front of the others. Once your partner learned of your capture, his teammates would pay for this as well. You smiled at the thought of their downfall as he dragged you across the cold ground and into the nearby jet.

~~~

"Steve, I can't remember anything more, I'm sorry. I'm trying, I really am, but I think this might be pointless."

You had spent hours looking at information about your life with Hydra, before Steve had captured you and worked so hard to make you a part of SHIELD. No one had believed him when he said that he saw potential and that he could convince you to join them, and at first, they were right. You don't even know how many fights the two of you have had since then, and how many times you tried to run, but somehow there was something in Steve that you were drawn to. Despite the brainwashing and the Hydra training, he was finally able to break thru and build a mutual trust. But when the Hydra agents within SHIELD learned that you had joined, they taunted you with promises of returning to work with your old partner, nearly pulling you back in. When it all collapsed, Bucky went into hiding; but Steve was still there for you, never a question for him if he would be or not.

After all that he had done for you, you wanted to help him, trying to give the Captain any information on where he could find his old friend. You only knew him as the Winter Soldier, and neither of you had any personal knowledge about the other; if captured, no information could be leaked if you didn't have any to give.

Steve leaned back in his chair, frustrated with a lack of progress in finding Bucky after a long and painful search. "I know, and I'm sorry to put this pressure on you, (Y/N). Thank you for trying to help." He smiled at you, sincerely, and put his hand on yours. "I really do appreciate everything you've done."

It was hard to believe that this man in front of you was the one that you had plotted to kill so violently only two years before. Your imagination was a colorful one, and his death would have been glorious. You smirked to yourself as you remembered that day, now just a hazy memory, along with all the rest that he was trying to find, locked away somewhere in your mind.

"What?" He asked, "what's that look for?"

"I was just thinking about all the ways that I had planned to kill you."

His eyes widened and his back straightened as he pulled his hand away from yours. "Then why do you look so...content?"

"Don't worry, Cap. Those urges are gone. Just a...fond memory." Exhausted from the long session, you stretched as you stood. "So, do you want to grab some dinner? I'm starving."

"If we can stay in, sure," he yawned loudly as he walked towards the lounge, "and if you order that pizza that I like. You good if I pick out a movie?" He was out of earshot before you had the chance to reply, likely on purpose.

"Don't make me regret letting you live, little man."

~~~

"Well this is just pathetic." Natasha quietly walked past you and Steve, now both asleep on the couch with your head resting in his lap and his hand in your hair. The movie had finished hours ago and a cold pizza sat on the table next to you, barely eaten. She grabbed a slice as she continued on her way to the gym.

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