What You Wish For

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Thirteen

Carrie was playing Christina Aguilera's Hurt on her piano when she heard the door bell ring. She didn't think anything of it since she had a pupil due shortly and she continued to play while Dixon answered the door. The song was one of her favourites. She lacked the voice to do the song justice so she just played an instrumental version, enjoying the melody and silently singing the words in her head. She'd been playing this song a lot recently, so much so that the other evening Mr Hale had asked her if she was all right since the tune was so melancholic. She had assured him she was fine but on more than one occasion recently she had been reduced to tears while playing.

The song had a special resonance for her now. It reminded her of how she used to scorn her family and blame them for so much; now she longed to be able to argue with them again. She wondered if her Aunt Immy was looking down on her and was proud of her. Probably not, she realised. Immy had given her the chance of a lifetime and here she was, miserable by her own hand. She had begun to think that perhaps she had over reacted when she sent Mr Thornton away, perhaps his reaction had been understandable and she was simply being a coward, as usual.

When she finished the song she heard someone clapping behind her and turned to see Mr Thornton standing in the doorway. Her heart skipped a beat and her stomach filled with butterflies as she looked at him, for she really did love him more than she could say. She swallowed her feelings down and tried to remember why she didn't like him.

"That was beautiful," he said.

"If you are here to give me the money back, I won't not accept it. You need to swallow your pride and take it for the good of your workers as well as yourself."

"Well that told me," he said, his voice warm. "I thank you for your faith in me." He had decided to keep the money since he did view it as a sign of her faith in him and he would not throw that gesture back in her face. He also thought that she expected him to fight her over the money, but Mr Thornton had learned his lesson and had no desire to ever fight with her again.

"It's nothing. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a pupil arriving shortly."

"No you don't. Forgive me but I knew you taught Sarah Caulfield today so I asked her mother to cancel her lesson this week. I explained that I needed to see you on an urgent matter of business."

"I believe we have discussed our business."

"Perhaps, but I have been trying to understand why you are so afraid of me."

"I... I have told you why." She looked down at her hands where they rested in her lap.

"Yes, but I don't believe you," he said, stepping further into the room and closing the door behind him. "I don't think that you are afraid that I will harm you."

"No?"

"No. I also don't think you stayed with Mark for so long because you didn't want to be alone. I think you stayed with him because you didn't love him."

Angered by his words, Carrie looked up at him.

"Don't be stupid."

"I don't think it is stupid, Carrie." He was slowly edging closer to her, almost as if she was a wild animal that he needed to be cautious around. "You told me your society is more evolved that mine and that it studied relationships, but if that's true I don't think that you gained much insight from it. I think that you felt safe with Mark because you didn't love him. He can't break your heart if you don't love him."

Carrie looked uncomfortable but she didn't deny it.

"I think that I terrify you because of how much you love me; because you know that I could break your heart."