FILLOS Elizabeth Tudor: Ancestry of Sorcery

Part 3

September 1542
Royal Hunting Lodge, Pyrgo Park

As we walked from dinner down the clean yet rather sparsely decorated hall, Mary murmured on and on about how impossible Father was. Father, in my opinion, had behaved as a saint would. If I were queen, I never could have endured Mary’s nosy comments, degrading tone, and superior manner without screaming at her in anger.
    When Mary asked Father about Queen Catherine, we both watched his face go almost scarlet and then sad. Yet he did not chastise her or discipline her for disrespect.
    I did not know all the details of Father’s latest marriage, and I had avoided knowing because intuition told me Catherine had suffered the same fate as my mother. I had known Catherine and cared for her and I did not want to know a thing that would hurt me. She was dead and that was enough detail for me.  
    However, Mary soon moved on to a much different topic: Father going to war with France. She scoffed and said with her most concerned voice, “Father, I would hate to have you die in war when you are still at odds with Rome.”
    As if Father were going to fasten a cannon to his horse and light the charge as he galloped into enemy territory. For shame! To remind Father of his excommunication and comment on Rome’s unyielding grudge toward all things English was a thrust that cut to Father’s heart. The pain was evident on his face. I could not help feeling a small spurn in my direction. After all, whose mother had instigated the break from Rome? Mary could not have picked two less appropriate and awkward topics. That Father did not order her from his presence was a display of astonishing self-control.
    By the end of the evening I had concluded that Mary was not trying for rehabilitation at all. She was beyond caring. She had done everything to please Father, and though he had a relationship with her now he had not put her back into the line of succession. Perhaps at this meeting she was trying a new tactic, but the way she went about it was infuriating and at moments simply treasonous. It made me so angry that, as soon as the hallways permitted me, I left Mary’s side without a word and walked out to the stables.
    Kat, of course, was not far behind. She was relentless in her duty. In a way, it was comforting that she was always there. Furthermore, since Kat was a marvelous equestrian, I never had to worry about her keeping pace with me on these little journeys.
    It was a beautiful night and my gaze was pulled heavenward toward the moon, whose beams were broken up by the many trees that surrounded the house. Father had recently decided to reinvent Pyrgo Park, and there was much clearing required to transform this corner of Romford. I looked up at the sky and realized there was no way I would get a clear view of the moon amid all the vegetation, and though I loved the beauty of a well-pruned oak or beech, at that moment I could not have agreed more with his plans to clear them all out.
    In the stable, with Kat’s help, I stripped off my blue silk, hung it on a peg, and then donned the plain cotton dress I used for riding at night. After mounting Beaux, I instantly had the desire to race to the top of the west hill, which was a treeless plateau. I hungered for the open sky and the great celestial illumination therein.
    While Beaux picked our way to the appropriate trail, I again thought of tonight’s dinner and wished with all my heart that Father could see me as I rode. I wanted him to know and remember me as I was in the saddle, riding bareback in the dark of night.
    After hearing Father's story of hunting, I believed now more than ever that his heart and mine were very much the same. The pert, quiet Elizabeth who had all the intelligent, spot-on answers to Kat’s questions was impressive and frankly everything a person of my standing should be. But she was not all that I was.
    As Beaux and I walked toward the hilltop, we startled several birds out of the trees, but I did not look to name them. I simply pressed my heel gently into Beaux’s side. As he sped up, the cool September wind brushed my cheeks, giving my face a sudden chill, but my body felt warm against Beaux’s back. I could feel every strain of his hardened back muscles as he lifted us through the wood and up the hill. I listened to the sound of his shoes clicking against the small stones and roots they touched and smiled to myself, wondering if anyone else thought that the most beautiful sound in the world.
    His breath remained even for a while, but soon I could smell his mouth and coat as he began to pant and sweat. I reveled in the damp air that tasted like burning wood and chestnuts, and the feel of the leather reins in my ungloved hands. My skirts rose and I lifted my knees a little, squeezing Beaux with my thighs and heels to let him know I wanted more speed. He met my demands with surprisingly little effort and within moments, we broke through the tree line and raced along the crest of the hill.
    The moment I was not shaded by the trees I knew why I wanted to come up here. The moon seemed to be right above me, and I instantly felt her shimmering glow pierce through my soul and fill me with life. For some reason I had always felt tied to the moon, always able to feel it day or night or know exactly the piece of sky it would light. Now as I raised my head up, I closed my eyes and basked in the penetrating power that seemed to surround me…to call to me.
    Sensing my reaction, Beaux evened out his gate and we flowed through the night as one. Only the wind that whipped my hair and riding dress moved at a different pace than our bodies. All the frustrations of the night went through my mind. The heat of my anger burned the hottest as I thought how I had probably missed my chance to show myself to my father, but as soon as the heat overwhelmed me, I realized that the fire was gone, dissolved into the calm waves of the sea that my insides now were. Moments passed and soon, I felt completely filled and relieved of all my anger. That was the magic of my rides. Once this feeling came, I knew that it was time to rejoin Kat for she was no doubt waiting just out of view for me to turn and seek her out.