Dear Bailey

Part 53

Bailey

His email made my heart stop. It felt like it had swelled and then as soon as it sunk in, it ruptured. I was so happy I was finally going to hear his voice again, but I knew what he was going to tell me before he even had a chance to say it.

"I miss you," he'd said the second I'd answered. "Fuck, I missed you so much." It was his tone, the way his voice grew lighter at the end of the sentence like it had in the airport before he left. He was sad about something.

"I miss you more."

"There's been a change in plans, baby. I hate to tell you this over the phone, but I for sure couldn't send it in an email." I heard him close the door to his barracks and I shut my eyes tight. The tears were already stinging the back of them. I felt the lump rising in my throat and I worried I wouldn't be able to talk. I knew that having plans to see him was too good to be true. Something would get in the way. I also knew that a minor bump in the road did not warrant a call.

"When do you leave?" I ask, managing to keep my voice mostly flat.

"The 12th." He didn't try to deny it or smooth it over. I could hear the pain in his voice too. The first few hot tears slipped down my cheeks and I blew out a breath as quietly as I could. "I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. You didn't sign up for this. I know that."

"I love you," I said because it was true. So true it hurt. I may not have signed up for it, but I was going to live through it because I loved him too much to let him go.

"I love you, too." He said, and I thought I might have heard a sniff but he recovered. "I need to see you before I go."

"Tell me where." I would go anywhere.

"I'm only allowed a few days. They are encouraging us to get our shit together and handle anything that needs to be done for the next year." I couldn't hold back the sob that slipped out. A year. A fucking year! I sniffed and tried to get myself into control.

"Please don't. Please don't be sad. I can't fix it. I'm so far away and I can't hold you." He cleared his throat and I realized he needed me to be strong. He needed something from me. My time, my comfort, my reassurance that I could handle it all. I nodded my head even though he couldn't see me.

"Sorry," I tried again, my voice being strangled by a lump in my throat. "I'll go to you. We'll have more time." I looked around my room and started mentally packing. I didn't even care—I'd leave without anything if it gave us more time.

"Are you sure? I don't want to screw up your classes." How could he even care about my classes right now? I didn't. Nothing was more important than being together.

"Yes. Just tell me where to go."

"I'm sending you the eticket when we hang up. There won't be any open rooms here on base. I'll get us a little place in the city. I'll pick you up from the airport tomorrow and drive you back on the 6th." It didn't seem like enough time, but it was more than we'd ever had.

"I love you, Lucas."

"I love you more."