Seven Brothers

16. Chest Pains

I was on edge 24/7, I didn't know what to do with myself. All I could think about was Elijah's lips on mine and the way his hands gripped my hips, his intoxicating scent. It was like a scene from a movie that I couldn't stop replaying. I found myself thinking about it at the worst of times, like in Mrs. Streep's English class when I sat alone in the corner. I hadn't seen him since we kissed and I was so nervous, but undeniably excited, to see him again. For some reason he hadn't been over my house seen New Year, which was strange considering it was pretty much his second home. I nearly began to hyperventilate when he walked in, my stomach doing flips at the sight of him. I bit down on my lip to hide a sly smile that was creeping into my face. I expected him to come and sit next to me at the back, but instead he chose a seat at the front, completely dodging the look I sent his way.

My stomach dropped instantly and I felt like I was going to cry. It was my worst fear come true, he regretted kissing me. How could I have been so stupid to think that for even a second he would return my feelings?! He was fire, passionate and powerful, and I was the wind, invisible and irrelevant. People worshipped him like a deity, he was charismatic and charming. On the other hand, I was underestimated, unappreciated and unsatisfactory. Seventeen, clumsy and shy.

***
He continued to ignore me, couldn't even look at me. He went the other way when he saw me in the hallway and he didn't sit with us at lunch, he was off somewhere with Sebastian. I didn't bother telling Silver and Vincent about the kiss, it seemed so irrelevant now, like it was just a big mistake. One good thing came out of it though, at least I knew where I stood with Eli.

That evening, at home, I spotted Seb alone in his bedroom, technically it was Elliot's bedroom but Seb moved in there after El moved out. I couldn't blame him, I'd rather live in a dungeon in an abandoned castle than share a room with Kai. Slowly, cautiously, I walked in there, he was busy tuning his guitar. Call it twin telepathy, but he knew I was in there without even looking up.
"What's up, Chuck?" He asked as he tightened the strings.
"Nothing" I sighed, sitting in his computer chair, facing him.
"What's wrong?" He asked. Damn twin connection, he knew what I was thinking!
"It's not me, I was just curious about Elijah. He's was a little distant today" I spoke, trying to not make it sound like I cared too much, even though I was internally screaming at him to give me answers.
"Isn't he always distant?" He chuckled, putting the guitar down and facing me.
"You know what I mean" I giggled, reaching out to tap him with my foot.
"He seemed fine to me, did he say something you?" He asked, raising a curious eyebrow at me.
"Well that's the problem. He completely blanked me today" I sighed, feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders.
"Listen P, I wouldn't worry about it, he was probably just having an off day. I mean, think of how far you've come, you couldn't even say two words to each other when you first met and now you're good friends" he comforted me, probably understanding more than I realised.
His words were true though, we had come a long way, I valued his friendship immensely. Even if I couldn't have all of him, I still didn't want to lose our friendship. I realised I hadn't even tried to talk to him, had just accepted that he hated me and probably completely over reacted. We could go back to the way things used to be, I just had to talk to him.

***
The day after my heart to heart with Seb I felt renewed, like the world was an okay place again. I was determined to talk to Eli and find out what was going on, surely he wasn't actually ignoring me. But, once again I didn't seem him all day, in fact I wasn't even sure he was in school, or in the state, or in the country. He could have moved to Tokyo or Tahiti for all I knew. Perhaps my mind was running away with me a little bit. I think by now it's clear that I have a tendency to overreact.

My worst fears were confirmed though that afternoon as hockey practice. I was walking across the field where my team had gathered when I saw Elijah, training with the football team. I sent a smile his direction, to gauge his reaction and when he ignored me and looked the other way I nearly flew off the handle bars. He was actually ignoring me. I began heading in his direction, desperate to get answers, but Elijah, being the jerky-coward he was, turned to join some of his team members doing laps in the track. The guy literally ran away from me! He turned the opposite direction and ran from me! I had gathered that he regretted kissing me and felt awkward about seeing me again, but to run away from me? That ran deeper. He was actively avoiding me, like he was pissed at me, or even scared of me? Did I need to remind him that he was the one that kissed me?! My sadness from yesterday had dissipated and turned into anger. Seething anger. When I finally managed to get in close proximity to him I would give him a piece of my mind! I'd give him a huge slice!