chapter twenty five

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chapter twenty five
(not edited)

THE NEXT MORNING started out as well as any other morning. I woke up, took a shower, got dressed, are some breakfast, and grabbed my backpack as I rushed out the door. It was my usual Monday routine.

When I grabbed a few books from my locker, I wasn't expecting anything out of the ordinary to happen.

"Ashley!" I heard from down the hallway. I looked to my left and saw Mackenzie running towards me with a panicked expression on her face. I furrowed my eyebrows and shut my locker as she finally stopped in front of me. "Ashley," she whispered, "I heard from someone that you're gay."

"Oh." I opened my mouth and felt my face grow red. "Um-"

"Is it true? I don't want you to feel bad because I know it's spreading around the school and, yeah, just... Is it true?"

I gulped and looked around. I wasn't ready to come out to everyone I knew, especially the entire school.

I cleared my throat and threw my backpack over my shoulder.

"I have to go to class. I'll see you later." I attempted to smile and walk past her. She started saying something, my my heart was pounding so loud in my ears that I couldn't hear.

I took deep breaths as I walked down the hall and past by many students and teachers. In through the nose, out through the mouth.

It took years for me to finally convince myself that I am gay, no matter how hard I tried to push it away. How did it take a few days for the school to find out? Also, why is it anyone's business?

I was so deep in my thoughts that I barely even noticed that someone had blocked my path. I awkwardly shuffled to the left to get by, but they blocked me again. I furrowed my eyebrows and came face to face with Julia Rink.

"Ashley." She whispered with desperation hidden in her tone of voice. "I want to explain something to you." Her eyes were filled with sadness; I knew that look. "I'm so sorry about what happened over the weekend-"

"Didn't we already talk about this?" I interrupted. I felt like everyone in the hallway was staring at us but I doubt anyone was actually paying attention. "I don't care what happened." I puffed and took a deep breath.

As I started to think, I realized it wasn't Julia who I was mad at. The one that should be apologizing is Mason - he's the one that knew I had problems with Julia, yet he goes straight to her when we break up. I don't understand - I mean, I'm not jealous of her or anything, I just... Mason sort of betrayed me. Is that fair of me to use that against him?

"Can we talk somewhere else, please?" She said. I gulped when she tilted her head to the side and some hair fell in front of her face. I remember that she always did this. I took a deep breath and nodded my head before thinking. She gestured me to follow her, so I did. She walked through the school doors, holding them open for me, and then finally sat down on the steps leading up to the school.

My heart pounded as I awkwardly sat down beside her. I don't know what she has to say - we've already been through this.

     "Before I start," she said, "I really want you to know that I'm sorry and I still hope we can be friends."

     I kept my mouth shut as I examined the tips of my fingernails resting on my lap. I wasn't worried about the bell ringing because I had fifteen minutes until first period. I really can't afford to miss any more classes.

Julia sighed beside me and stayed silent for a really long time. I hoped she wasn't waiting for me to say something, because I didn't have anything to say.

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