Avengers Texts

Part 18: Thor's Fabulous Hair

Thor: AAAAAAAAAAAAH 

Thor: WHICH ONE OF YOU PUNY HUMANS HAS DONE THIS TO ME  

Thor: I WILL SMITE YOU 

Tony: Jeez, calm down. What happened? 

Thor: MY LOCKS OF HAIR 

Tony: What about them...? 

Thor: THEY ARE IN RINGLETS 

Tony: Somebody curled your hair?! 

Natasha: Oooh, you should send a picture. 

Thor: WHY SHOULD I SEND THIS 'PICTURE' TO YOU? 

Natasha: Because it sounds awesome? 

Thor: IT IS HIDEOUS 

Natasha: I'm sure it isn't that bad. 

Thor: ATROCIOUS 

Tony: Ok then. 

Tony: So, before you smite anybody... 

Thor: I WILL SMITE EVERYBODY 

Tony: HOLD ON A SEC 

Tony: CALM DOWN, LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS 

Thor: MAN OF IRON, DID YOU "CURL" MY HAIR FOLLICLES?! 

Tony: Has anybody ever told you just how weird you sound when you talk? 

Thor: SMITE ALL THE THINGS 

Tony: ... 

Tony: You know that "No Memes" rule that we have for Steve? Well, it now applies to you too. 

Thor: SMITE THE MAN OF IRON 

Tony: Dude, chill. It's for your own good. 

Thor: DID YOU, THE MAN OF IRON, CRIMPED MY FABULOUS LOCKS?! 

Tony: As much as I wish that I'd done that, I didn't do that. 

Steve: Wow, do you guys really still believe in that No Memes rule? 

Natasha: Yes. Very, very, yes. 

Steve: Oh. 

Natasha: Why do you ask? 

Steve: No reason. 

Natasha: . 

-Steve has sent a picture- 

Natasha: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH 

Steve: Memes 

Natasha: HOW DARE YOU 

Natasha: NO DINNER TONIGHT 

Natasha: YOU'RE GROUNDED 

Steve: Natasha, you can't ground me... I'm a grown man... 

Natasha: NO YOU AREN'T HUSH YOU'RE A SMOL CHILD 

Thor: MY HAIR HAS BEEN CURLED 

Tony: Where's Clint, anyway? 

Natasha: WHO CARES ABOUT THAT OR THOR'S HAIR, STEVE'S BEEN LOOKING AT MEMES AGAIN 

Tony: OH GOD 

Tony: STEVE 

Tony: STEVE WHY 

Tony: NATASHA, HOW COULD YOU LET OUR CHILD DO THIS 

Steve: . 

Steve: Child? 

Natasha: HUSH, STEVE. GO TO YOUR ROOM. 

Tony: NATASHA, WE HAVE TO FORMULATE A PLAN 

Natasha: WE HAVE TO PREVENT THE MEMES 

Steve: Guys stop pretending to be my parents 

Tony: THIS IS A GROWN UP CONVERSATION, STEVE. 

Steve: I'M OLDER THAN BOTH OF YOU 

Natasha: THIS IS BETWEEN YOUR FATHER AND I, STEVE. 

Steve: OH MY GOD STOP IT 

Thor: AM I THE CRAZY UNCLE? 

Tony: Sure, Thor. Sure. 

Natasha: STEVE, WHAT DID WE TELL YOU ABOUT MEMES? 

-Steve has sent a picture- 

Tony: NOT OVERLY ATTACHED GIRLFRIEND 

Natasha: THIS MUST STOP 

Tony: I'M GOING TO TAKE YOUR PHONE STEVE 

Steve: You can't, I'm in Canada. 

Tony: What 

Steve: Canada 

Tony: HOW DARE YOU RUN AWAY FROM US, YOUNG MAN 

Natasha: I AM VERY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU 

Steve: YOU'RE NOT MY REAL MOM 

Nataha: *GASP* 

Tony: HOW DARE YOU TALK THAT WAY TO YOUR MOTHER 

Tony: APOLOGIZE RIGHT NOW 

Steve: NO 

Steve: ADVENTURES 

Natasha: I feel hurt :( 

Steve: Oh for God's sake 

Thor: CAPTAIN OF AMERICA, WHY ARE YOU IN CANADA? DID YOU CURL MY HAIR? 

Steve: No, I didn't. And I did say I was moving to a different country, didn't I? 

Clint: I thought you were kidding about that. 

Steve: I wasn't. 

Tony: I'M SENDING A HELICOPTER TO PICK YOU UP RIGHT NOW 

Natasha: YOU ARE SO GROUNDED 

Steve: GACK 

-Steve has sent a picture- 

-Steve has sent a picture- 

-Steve has sent a picture- 

Tony: NO 

Natasha: NOT MORE MEMES 

-Natasha has left the chat- 

-Tony has left the chat- 

Steve: Clint, you could've helped me through all that, you know. 

Clint: Are you kidding? No way. 

Steve: Why not? 

Clint: 1. Because I'd get grounded, 2. Because I wanted my older brother to get in trouble, and 3. I'm too busy hiding from humanity because I curled Thor's hair while he was sleeping.  

Thor: IT WAS YOU 

Clint: Oh no I thought that he'd left the chat bye 

-Clint has left the chat- 

Thor: I MUST GET REVENGE 

Steve: Wait, no, don't do that 

-Thor has left the chat- 

Steve: ... 

Steve: Well, shoot. 

Steve: Time to move to Russia.