Jonah Clarke Is Not Gay

Jonah Clarke Is Sweet

Daniel hasn't been back to Sprinkles ever since he nearly killed Jonah. But that's about to change. After all, Daniel is hardly going to pass up an opportunity to spend time with Jonah outside of school, and Daniel is most definitely not going to pass up an opportunity to spend time with Jonah when the two of them are more of less alone, or at least away from people from school, away from Jonah's old friends.

Via is the only one there when Daniel enters and she looks up at him with a mischievous smile on her face, a strand of her ginger hair being twirled between two of her fingers before she sweeps it up into a ponytail.

"Clarke's at the shop," she explains, "he said he was expecting you."

"Thanks."

"No problem."

Via wanders over a few moments later with a mug of coffee in her hand which she quickly hands over to Daniel.

"You're a coffee drinker right?" Via says.

Daniel simply nods. He's not entirely sure how to act around Via, he's pretty sure she hates him, in fact, Daniel is pretty sure that Via hates everyone. And so Daniel isn't entirely sure why on earth Via is taking a seat next to him with a smile that could just about be considered friendly on her face.

"I can't believe I'm about to say this," Via sighs, somehow managing to convey utter disappointment through her tone, "I mean I hate gossip. But what the hell is going on with you and Clarke."

Daniel tries to hide the fact that he nearly chokes on his coffee.

"We're good friends," Daniel says, and technically it's not untrue, "why do you ask?"

Via raises her eyebrows in disbelief and fixes Daniel with a pointed stare. Daniel somehow finds himself inching slightly further back in his seat, desperate to get away from Via's gaze. The gaze that suggests she knows more than she's letting on.

"The other day he suggested that we double date."

"Well maybe he was trying to ask you out and thought inviting me along would make you feel better."

"There are so many flaws in your logic. And anyway, apparently he's got some cute guy lined up for me. One that's not him. Therefore you and him would be going on a date. A date. You know that thing couples do where they kiss and hold hands."

"I know what a date is," Daniel tells Via, "I'm sure Jonah was just getting his words confused. He's not the brightest bulb in the box."

"Cut the bullshit Evans," Via says, "I want to know what's going on with you and Clarke."

"Nothing."

"I swear to god I am not afraid to hit you. You know how I have red hair, that's a warning that if you piss me off I will hurt you."

"I don't know what you want me to tell you?"

"Has he kissed you?"

"I feel like we're twelve year old girls at a sleepover."

"Stop changing the subject," Via warns. "Clarke's not acting like himself, and I want to know why."

"And why does it have to be my fault?"

"Who said anything about it being anyone's fault? It's not a bad thing anyway, in fact, he's being nicer. I just want to know why."

"I guess I'm just a great friend."

"I'm a great friend," Via says, "but Clarke doesn't stare at his phone looking like the heart eye emoji every time I text him."

"How do you know?" Daniel asks. "Surely you don't text him when the two of you are in the same room."

"I swear to god Evans, just roll with me. My point is, something is going on between the two of you and I really want to know what."

"I thought you said you hated gossip."

"Yeah but I like being able to tease Clarke."

"Well then ask him."

"So there is something to ask about?"

Daniel realises that he's slipped off, he's offered Via too much and now she's going to take the opportunity to try and coax every bit of information about Jonah out of him.

"No..."

Even Daniel can tell how uncertain his voice sounds, how untrue that statement appears even to his own ears. There's definitely no way that Via is ever going to believe him, Daniel is officially one of the worst liars ever to exist. It's one of the reasons it's so easy for people to tell when something is bothering him, every emotion is clear on Daniels' face as if they're written in permanent marker across his forehead.

"Tell me," Via whines, elongating every syllable so that the sentence drags on for a good few seconds.

"Ask Jonah," Daniel repeats.

"He won't tell me."

"Well then I'm following his lead."

"Are you ticklish?"

Daniel is so taken aback by Via's question for a few moments that he's not quite sure how to reply straight away.

"No."

Definitely the worst liar ever.

For a brief moment Daniel thinks he's gotten away with it. Via makes no move to attack him and Daniel lets out a silent sigh of relief. And then it starts. Via heads straight for his ribs, incessant tickling that doesn't let up no matter how much Daniel asks it to. Daniel has always been unreasonably ticklish, a trait that Isaac has often teased him for and it seems that even Via is going to take advantage of it.

"Stop!" Daniel shouts.

Via pulls back slightly, her hands still resting close to Daniel's skin.

"Then tell me."

"Never!"

"You know Jonah talks about you a lot," Via says, piquing Daniel's interest, "I can tell you all the things he's told you about me."

Daniel pretends to think for a seconds.

"Hmm let me thing about it... no."

Via frowns at Daniel, legs either side of his waist and is still doing so when the bell above the door chimes.

"Well hello," Jonah says, "am I interrupting something?"

"Of course not," Via scoffs.

"Alright then."

"Your boyfriend's no fun."


xxx

"Was Via bugging you?"

It's the tenth time Jonah has asked that ever since he walked in and every time Daniel offers the same answer in response.

"No," Daniel says, "she actually seems pretty cool."

Jonah rolls his eyes for the tenth answer, it's not really the answer he's expecting, or the one he's exactly happy with.

"She's not 'pretty cool'," Jonah tells Daniel, "she's the devil reincarnate in feminine form."

"I think you're overreacting."

"I don't think you realise how mean she really is."

"I think you're just in denial over the fact that you're secretly in love with her."

"She's not really my type," Jonah replies.

"What is your type anyway?" Daniel asks. "Cause according to Liam it's anything human with a pulse."

"You're my type," Jonah says, placing a chaste kiss to Daniel's lips when he's sure Via isn't looking.

"Ever the charmer."

"What can I say?"

Jonah knows that there are a lot of things he could say, but the words seem to get lost in the air any time Jonah even thinks about saying them. It's like there's some sort of filter in his throat that won't let them past, something stopping him from saying something he might potentially regret.

"Tell me I'm pretty," Daniel says jokingly.

"You're not pretty."

Daniel pouts, and Jonah captures Daniel's lips in a short kiss.

"You're ruggedly handsome," Jonah murmurs as he pulls away.

"I think that's the last thing I am."

"I'm not so sure. I mean you look like you've been working out recently."

"I haven't."

"You're supposed to go along with it Danny-Boy," Jonah mutters, "I mean at least humour me."

"I think I humour you far too often."

Jonah pulls back slightly to study the teasing smile on Daniel's face.

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing," Daniel says, clearly meaning the opposite, "you totally never say stupid things and when you do I totally never go along with it."

"Well I appreciate it," Jonah replies.

"You better."

Another kiss. They punctuate the sentences like full stops. A chance to take a breath when the pair are quiet. A chance to say so much without using their voices, so many words expressed without ever leaving their mouths.

"I really like you."

It's there in the way that Daniel gently brushes Jonah's hair backwards as he tugs him in closer. In the way that Jonah allows his lips to linger just that extra second longer before he pulls away. There's so many words wrapped up in the gentle touches and the warm embraces.

It's quieter than a whisper, but it's there. And Jonah chooses to ignore it.

He instead makes sure no one is around before pressing his lips to Daniel's in a frenzied fashion. As if a shout can drown out a whisper. As if there's anything he can do stop himself from hurtling through the freefall, as if he can cut off emotions like they're stands of hair.

Jonah feels as if Daniel is capable of taking him to dizzying new heights every time they kiss, but he's scared off the jagged rocks that lay below. Because with every kiss, Jonah feels that the pair are getting higher and higher, until they're standing on the top of the world. But that only means that Jonah will have further to fall.

"We should kiss like that more often," Daniel murmurs against Jonah's lips.

"Does right now suit you?"

"I don't know, I'll have to check my diary."

"Idiot," Jonah sighs.

"Your idiot," is Daniel's breathless reply.

"I have to get back to work."

Daniel simply pouts in reply, widens his eyes and stares at Jonah with a tinge of disappointment in his gaze.

"Do you really have to?"

"I do if I want to keep my job."

"I'll pay you," Daniel suggests jokingly.

"I'm pretty sure that's called prostitution."

"Fair point."

"I wouldn't make you pay me anyway," Jonah says, "your kisses are payment enough."

That may possibly be the cheesiest thing Jonah has ever said, but the blush on Daniel's cheeks is worth it. As is the way Daniel buries his head in his hands, refusing to meet Jonah's gaze.

"You're a cutie."

"I'm your cutie."

Jonah smiles then, unsure of whether that's really true, of whether he can truly claim Daniel's as his.

"That you are," Jonah replies with a crooked smile, each word light on his tongue, "remind me how to get rid of you again?"

"Well that's just insulting."

"You'll get used to it."

"What if I don't want to?" Daniel asks teasingly.

The words remind Jonah so much of their first day at school being friends. Of the easiness of their teasing back then.

"Well I think it might be a bit too late for that."

Jonah's reply is truer than he might like to admit. It's too late for him to turn back now after all, there seems to be no easy way out left. Daniel's and his stories are so tightly intertwined that Jonah can't even begin to separate them, because without Daniel Jonah isn't entirely sure who he's been for the past few weeks.

And that scares Jonah far more than it should, the fact that without Daniel he's no one. It doesn't matter how Jonah feels towards Daniel himself, the fact that two of them seem so dependent on each other scares Jonah more than anything else. It just makes their relationship so much more precarious, because it seems that as soon as one of them crumbles so will the other one. As if they're to pillars supporting something they don't even know the weight of.

"You okay?" Daniel asks.

Jonah hasn't moved for a few moments and it's only Daniel's words that spark him into action. He looks the other boy in the eyes and smiles.

Don't offer more than they're willing to give.

Jonah's mantra seems as important now as it ever does.

"Fine," he tells Daniel, "absolutely brilliant."


xxx

By the time Jonah's shift finally ends, Daniel has definitely eaten far too much ice cream for his own good.

"I think I'm about to explode," he mutters as he and Jonah makes their way out onto the cold street.

"Well if you do explode, would you mind trying not to get blood over me," Jonah says teasingly.

"Only cause you'd rather I got something else – "

"Daniel!"

"Sorry, couldn't resist."

"You seem to have become a lot more suggestive recently."

"It's Bruno," Daniel explains, "he gives me the confidence to say things like that."

"You know Bruno's growing on me."

"Are you saying you don't like him?"

"No," Jonah hurries to say, "I'm saying that I was unsure about the whole idea at first."

"Bruno is bae."

"Please never use the word bae again."

"Why not?" Daniel asks. "I mean, you're my bae too, so there's no reason to get jealous."

"Are you accusing me of being jealous of a peacock?"

"Well even a pea sized cock is bigger than yours."

"Wanna bet?"

"Is that some kind of strange offer?"

"Well you know I do have a free house right now," Jonah says, "and I think you'd look pretty good in it."

"That was smooth bro."

As much as Daniel wants to take Jonah up on his offer, there's something tugging him back. Their relationship, if it can even be called that, has only just started and Daniel feels like they should be taking baby steps forward. Instead Jonah seems to be intent on giant strides, powering ahead so fast that Daniel is afraid that he won't be able to keep up.

"Add bro to that list too," Jonah says.

"What list?"

"The list of words you're not allowed to say anymore."

"You're not the boss of me."

"And here I was thinking you were into that," Jonah replies suggestively.

"You have no idea what I'm into."

"Then why don't you tell me."

"Jonah-."

Daniel isn't entirely sure how to tell Jonah that he doesn't exactly want that right now, that he wants to establish the foundations of their relationship before they can even start to build on them.

"Look you don't want to come round if you don't want to," Jonah says.

"I want to," Daniel tells Jonah quickly, "maybe just for kisses though."

Daniel pretends not to notice the flicker of disappointment that crosses Jonah's face, tries to pass if off as nothing more than a trick of the light.

"Well then back to mine I guess."

Jonah's voice has lost some of the enthusiasm it had before and Daniel is desperate for it to return. Tentatively he places his hand in Jonah's, making sure that their tangled fingers are hidden by their coats.

For a moment Daniel thinks Jonah is going to pull away. And then Jonah squeezes Daniel's hand lightly, a gesture so small that Daniel almost thinks he might have imagined it, before leading the pair of them on their way.

Jonah's house is warm. That's the first thing that Daniel notices when he steps in the house and it's something he's unreasonably grateful for. His fingers are tinged red from the cold and he's not entirely certain that his toes haven't succumbed to frostbite.

Daniel doesn't even have to ask before Jonah is throwing him a hoodie, a silent offer of warmth.

"Thanks."

"No problem."

Somehow in the past couple of weeks Jonah's house has become as familiar to Daniel as his own. He doesn't hesitate to help himself to a mug in the cupboard and only pauses before filling the kettle to ask Jonah is he wants anything to drink too.

Daniel's just putting sugar in the mugs when Jonah wraps his arms around Daniel's body. Jonah's chest pressed close to Daniel's back, Jonah's mouth hovering near Daniel's ear.

"You look cute," Jonah murmurs in Daniel's ear.

"I'm freezing and look like I walked through a hedge backwards, I look anything but cute," Daniel replies simply.

"You always look cute."

"What do you want? You're being far too nice."

"I'm always nice."

"I know, it's weird."

Daniel twists round so that his face is a mere inch away from Jonah's, a strand of Jonah's hair tickling Daniel's cheek.

"I still think you look cute."

"And I still think you need new glasses."

"Honestly Bruno seems to have up and left quickly."

"His shift ends at five," Daniel replies jokingly.

"Well I think you need to ask him to work some extra hours," Jonah replies, pressing his body closer to Daniel's.

Daniel spins around as soon as he hears the kettle finish boiling, ignoring the way that Jonah's hand still lingers on his waist and the way that he can feel Jonah's breath against his cheek as Jonah rests his head on Daniel's shoulder.

Daniel offers the mug wordlessly and the two remain in silence for a few moments, staring at each other over the rim of their mugs. Daniel smiles shyly, only to have the gesture returned at full strength by Jonah.

"So what do you want to do now?" Jonah asks.

"I'm up for anything."

"Really? Because there's this bank I was thinking about robbing and I was wondering if you'd want to help."

"Let me rephrase that," Daniel says, "I'm up for anything so long as it is legal, requires little energy and preferably includes food."

"Well that narrows down our options."

"Are you saying that you're into a lot of illegal stuff?"

"No I'm saying that the stuff I was thinking about doing requires a lot of energy," Jonah replies suggestively.

"And what 'stuff' would that be."

"You've already ruled it out."

"Well you could at least try to change my mind," Daniel says.

Jonah presses his lips to Daniel's in an open invitation, smirking slightly when Daniel begins to kiss him back. Daniel decides to ignore that reaction and instead savours the moment. Savours just being with Jonah.

As if it's the two of them against the world. As if it's never going to end.


xxx

Every second with Daniel seems to drag on into infinity, but at the same time it feels like it's passing by far too fast.

The conversation is peppered with lazy kisses, luxurious ones. The kind that make Jonah forget everything except Daniel's name, which ricochets through his brain, fizzes through his veins, engraving itself on Jonah's heart.

Jonah is terrified but he can't convince himself to pull away.

There's something intoxicating about Daniel kisses. Jonah is far too lost to even think about finding a way out.

"I love being best friends with you," Jonah says jokingly.

He's not sure what he's doing exactly, but now feels like one of those times where it's important for Jonah to remind himself of exactly where the lines lie. They're best friends, nothing more.

"We're the bestest of friends," Daniel sounds breathless, his lips so close to Jonah's that Jonah can feel every movement they make.

Another kiss and Jonah can feel himself slowly unravelling. Gradually exposing every part of him, all the secrets and the fears and every single emotion. Jonah knows it's dangerous but he can't help himself and so he tries to ignore the fact that it's happening by pressing his lips feverishly against Daniel's. Kissing Daniel likes the boy is the last source of oxygen left on earth, as if Jonah is a boat lost in a storm, out adrift at sea, and Daniel is the lighthouse.

Jonah almost wishes he could stay in Daniel's arms forever, especially if the kisses are always like this, are always quite so mesmerising.

There are soft kisses, passionate ones, slow, fast. Until Jonah is seeing stars in Daniel's eyes and doesn't know what to make of the constellations. It's terrifying and comforting all at once and Jonah doesn't know what to think of it all.

Who am I? Jonah finds himself asking. What am I doing? What do I want?

But the kisses don't allow for much thought, and soon Jonah's mind is being dragged away from the questions. His brain is blank, with only one word running through it. Daniel. Daniel. Daniel.

It's all Jonah can do to stop himself from screaming it out; instead it comes out as a moan, a quiet message shared between the two of them. A sign of just how Jonah feels, no matter how fleeting.

"Jonah," Daniel simply whispers in response.

When the pair finally pull apart Jonah's cheeks are flushed, and he stares at the sofa's fabric with far more interest than it deserves.

Another soft kiss is pressed to his lips, so fleeting that it might as well not have happened, so fleeting that Jonah might have imagined it, expect he can still feel the warmth of Daniel's lips against his lingering long after Daniel has pulled away, can feel the impression of the other boy's body against his long after distance has been put between them. Jonah can only hope that the ghost of Daniel won't follow him wherever he goes, that it will fade eventually. And maybe if Jonah hopes for that enough, then it might just come true.

"Was that okay?"

It's a stupid question, because surely the goofy smile on Jonah's face shows Daniel just how good the kiss was. Just how much Jonah wishes it could happen again and again and again...

"That was great."

Daniel blushes and Jonah resists the urge to kiss him stupid all over again. Daniel just doesn't seem to realise exactly how much of an effect he has on Jonah, exactly how wild he drives him. Jonah feels like Daniel has him completely under his spell, but Daniel doesn't even seem to realise that he's casting one.

Jonah can't stop himself from keeping their skin connected. Even though their lips are no longer together, Jonah keeps a tight hold of Daniel's hand. Jonah runs his fingers along the lines of Daniel's palm, a ghost of a touch, his fingers only lingering momentarily before they move on once again.

They move in a spiralling path, as if Jonah is desperate to touch every part of Daniel's skin. As if it's imperative that he does. As if he won't get another chance.

When Jonah's hand finds its way trailing up Daniel's arm he pretends not to notice the way that the other boy's pulse is beating erratically, pretends not to notice the way that his own pulse is doing the same. Their heartbeats are marching to the same rhythm, as in sync as their own emotions.

"I'm so glad I met you," Jonah says.

"I'm so glad you turned out to not be a major douchebag."

"I'm so glad you think I'm not a douchebag."

"Well you do have your moments," Daniel replies teasingly.

Jonah pretends to be offended, but he can't help the smile that slides onto his face.

Then their lips are reconnected. It's tantalisingly slow, there's a promise of so much more but very little delivery and Jonah can't resist tugging on Daniel's shirt and pulling him closer. Jonah's hands ball into fists around the fabric, closer, closer, always closer.

Daniel's hands are in Jonah's hair, tugging, teasing the strands. It's a reminder that he's there. Jonah savours every touch, no matter how brief, because it reminds him that this real. That Daniel is there.

And then Jonah is finding himself pulling Daniel's shirt higher up, until the other boy is pulling back to allow Jonah to bring the shirt over his head.

The kiss resumes as soon as possible, feverish, desperate.

Jonah grips Daniel's shoulders, desperate not to let the other boy slip away. Their chests are pressed together, separated only by the thin fabric of Jonah's t-shirt.

It's not long before that's disappearing too.

Daniel pulls back slightly, a serious expression suddenly crossing his face.

"I'm not... we shouldn't," despite his inability to string together a coherent sentence, Jonah can tell what Daniel is saying.

"I know," Jonah replies, "I just want to get closer."

Always closer, never quite close enough.