"니 작은 손짓 한 번에 현실을 잊어 난"
dear jungkook,
today is your big day. you woke up very early to prepare everything you need. i made sure you had your breakfast so you'll have enough energy to perform later. i came with you on the venue. there were so many people. so many people hoping they make it. you can see the determination and ambition on their faces as they patiently wait outside.
it took you a long time before you finally performed. you fell in line for a few hours along with the other contestants. when you finally got accepted, you called me just to say how nervous you are at the backstage. saying all the others are better than you and how worried you are that you might forget your lyrics or the choreographies. i told you to relax and calm down. i know you'll make it. i know you'll perform flawlessly.
finally, you were up on stage. you didn't seem that nervous. you looked confident. i saw how amazed the audiences were when they heard your beautiful voice when you started singing. i felt kind of relieved when you finished your performance without making any mistakes. i felt even happier when i saw the people clapped their hands when you took your bow.
you did very well. but then again, it's not about my choice. it's the judges'.
when the results came out, i saw how your dreams crashed before your eyes. i saw the sadness and disappointment look on your face. you couldn't move. you freezed up there. i wanted to run up the stage and hug you and tell you it's alright. but i couldn't. i wasn't allowed to. so i just watched you from afar and see how the people convinced you that it's over and that you've already lost.
i'm sorry, jungkook. i'm really, really sorry.
