Bad Boys Don't Smile / phan

chapter fifteen

dan

Dan watches as Phil edits the final video, pieces of all the ones they've filmed.

It's been a week since they had kissed, and although nothing had become awkward, Phil hadn't mentioned it, and Dan was too afraid to. Plus, he has a lot of other things to think about, like his mother who is still in hospital and his brother who is an emotional wreck.

Dan sighs, not able to survive another minute with the kiss lingering in his brain, with his unanswered questions.

"We need to talk Phil," Dan says suddenly, and Phil stops looking at the computer to face Dan, his eyebrows raised.

"We are talking Dan," Phil points out with a laugh, making Dan even more nervous to ask.

"No, about something else," Dan says quietly, "y'know, when we kissed."

"Oh, right," Phil says, biting his lip.

"Do you regret it?" Dan asks, fear twisting inside of him.

"Honestly? No," Phil says, "I don't regret it."

"Why didn't you say anything about it then?" Dan asks, "I thought you would've. I thought you didn't like me, I thought you regretted it-"

"I just wasn't sure what you thought of it," Phil says, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly, "I just thought that you had so much going on already and I didn't need to add to that list."

"Are you kidding? All I've even able to think about was that kiss!" Dan says, "but I do see where you're coming from."

"I want to say though Dan that the kiss did mean a lot, you mean a lot to me," Phil says, "I know that we're different people, and I know that you have a lot going on, but I just wanted to tell you that I really, really like you Dan Howell."

"I-I like you too Phil, I think," Dan mumbles, a blush coating his pale cheeks, "I mean, you make me happy and I can never stop thinking of you, so if that's what it feels like to like a person then I like you."

"So, where do we go from here?" Phil asks.

"Uh, I was hoping you'd know that," Dan says awkwardly.

"Well, do you want to go slow with our relationship? I mean, you still are the school's bad boy Danny," Phil says teasingly, nudging Dan gently with his elbow.

"Yeah, yeah," Dan says, rolling his eyes before turning serious again, "but I would like to go slow, if you wouldn't mind. I mean, this is all new to me."

"Yeah of course, I mean, this is sort of new to me as well. I've dated just... Not a guy," Phil stammers, looking down, "I'd never felt anything towards a guy before. Until you came along that is."

"I'd never even had time to think about liking someone before," Dan says, "I was too busy with all the other shit that goes on in my life."

"Am I part of that shi- uh, poo?" Phil asks with a giggle.

"No," Dan says, laughing lightly at both Phil's question and inability to swear, "you're the flower that grows out of the shit when it decomposes."

"Aw thanks Dan," Phil says, attacking him in a dramatic hug.

Dan laughs. He's not exactly sure when he started liking Phil exactly, Phil kind of just... Snuck up on him. One minute, he was annoying as hell and the next, he was all Dan had left to turn to and he was always there when Dan needed him.

"Hey Dan," Phil says, pulling away from the hug and looking at him, "you haven't smiled since that day."

"I have smiled," Dan argues.