twenty

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my eyes open and i check the time. 3:45 am. damn, i intentionally meant to take a nap for two hours, but ended up actually falling completely asleep. now that i'm fully awake, i sit up and use my knuckles to rub my eyes.

i peel the sheets off of my body and adjust my tank top. i make my way toward the bathroom to shower, brush my hair and teeth. i hold off on the showering na dust tie my hair in a messy bun.

i wash my face and mouth after brushing it with the minty paste. when i've finished all that, i return back to my bedroom to fetch my phone and then i walk toward the kitchen area.

i check my phone for texts and see that blake had texted me last night while i was 'taking my super long nap'. i reply, knowing that he is most likely sleeping right now. i turn on some music and proceed with finding something for breakfast.

i know you probably never had somebody
loving you like i do
someone who's there for you

don't judge it cause i know we're only human
i must be stupid, babe
letting you slip away

i toast up a bagel and pour myself a glass of orange juice. i successfully do not spill it as i jam out to the music. my sleeping schedule is going to be so messed up, but maybe if i actually go to bed tonight when i'm supposed to, i can save it from continuing.

i leave the kitchen for a moment to grab my laptop. i turn on jane the virgin on netlfix and watch that as i'm eating my breakfast. should i even go to work today? there's not even a need for me there.

i told jack that i wouldn't be showing up anytime soon until alexa is fired or completely gone from the company. so, he shouldn't be mad if i did skip today and the rest of the week. dismissing the thought, i continue to watch my show.

i shouldn't skip work today. alexa will feel like she has power over me and that i'm miserable and vulnerable wherever she is. i can't let her feel like that. i am supposed to be the intimidating one.

*

even though i had the choice to stay home today, i showed up in the office. i'm not going to speak about last nights phone call unless he brings it up himself. he was drunk. what if he didn't mean to say that or he doesn't remember it?

i finish putting the last packet of sugar into jack's coffee. making sure i didn't put too much or too little. i grab the lukewarm cup from the outside and proceed toward his office.

"knock, knock." i say, stepping into jack's office.

he lifts his eyes up from the paper to me and a shocked expression appears on his face. okay, i have no idea what that's supposed to me.

"i didn't know that you were showing up today." he responds as i set the coffee down.

i shrug my shoulders, "i decided last minute."

his lips twitch upward a little and for some reason, relief washes over me. as of now, it's not really awkward. i'm just super confused about last nights phone call.

"there's not much to do today." jack tells me. "for the both of us."

i nod my head, "alright."

i sit down and fiddle with my fingers. sitting in this office with nothing to do is so boring. i wish i didn't take online college courses and actually physically went to college.

"i'm sorry for leaving you in the elevator." he chuckles out of the blue.

"it's fine, i guess." i bite my top lip, unamused.

took him some time to apologize. i lean back in my chair in an unladylike fashion, having a stare down with jack.

"does this mean i can go back home?" i asked. "or am i just going to have to sit here all day?"

"i have a few things in mind. what we both can do." his voice lowers.

i shake my head, "that was a one time thing. it's never going to happen again." i stand up and so does he.

he knows exactly what i'm referring to.

"whoa, whoa, whoa, that's my line." he emphasizes.

"sucks to suck, doesn't it?" i say and his eyebrows pull together.

"you're not the one that's supposed to say that." he tells me.

i roll my eyes and suddenly, i feel his presence right beside me. i freeze in my spot and look up at him.

"you want to lose this job don't you? you always have to goddamn disrespect me." he snaps and i take a step back.

"i think you're bipolar, mr. gilinsky. you go from apologizing to me one second, to scolding me the next. you should get that checked out." i pat his tie and his chest.

he quickly grabs my wrist, pulling me so i'm flushed against him. my breath catches in my throat and my eyes widen.

"that's because you make me mad, kehlani. i am not bipolar."

i snort, "sure."

his eyes narrow at me and i feel his warm breath fan my face. i gulp a lump that's formed in my throat. his tongue peeks out between his lips to quickly swipe across his bottom lip.

"what are you doing?" i breathe as i see him close his eyes and lean down.

he doesn't reply, but just presses his lips against mine. i would've though that it would at least be gentle, but i was so wrong. they forcefully mold onto mine and i would have stumbled back if his arm wasn't so tightly wrapped around me.

"we can't be doing this." i mumble on his lips.

his mocks me, rolling his eyes exasperated and his mouth attacks the sensitive skin on my neck. a moan releases and escapes from my lips right away, without my permission.

"we- we need to at least talk about that phone call last night." i stutter and then i feel him tense against me.

drunk words are sober thoughts.

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pray 4 me i entered a raffle 7 times for some fucking yeezys

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