Tony: I still feel sick.
Natasha: IT'S BEEN DAYS SINCE CHRISTMAS HOW DO YOU STILL HAVE A HANGOVER
Tony: DON'T JUDGE ME
Clint: You accidentally drank some of the stuff Thor brought from Asgard, didn't you...
Tony: ...
Tony: Maybe.
Steve: Oh my God
Thor: MAN OF IRON, I WARNED YOU THAT YOUR WEAK AND PUNY MORTAL BODY COULD NOT WITHSTAND THE MOST EPIC OF ALL VARIETIES OF ALCHOHOL
Tony: Urgh
Tony: But...
Tony: You offered some to Steve...
Tony: And Steve said it wasn't that bad...
Natasha: Well, that's because you're not as awesome as Steve.
Tony: ?!
Tony: :'(
Steve: B)
Tony: UGH YOU EVEN USED AN EMOJI PROPERLY
Tony: FOR ONCE
Maria: You have to admit it, Steve has a better butt.
Steve: ...
Tony: EXCUUUUUUSE YOU, HAVE YOU SEEN DIS BOOTY
Maria: ...
Steve: What even...?
Natasha: I agree with Maria.
Clint: Um...
Bruce: This got awkward...
Steve: I think that it's the most awkward for me...
Tony: THIS ISN'T AWKWARD, THIS IS HIGHLY INSULTING
Steve: ... You're weird.
Bruce: We knew that already.
-Pepper has joined the chat-
Pepper: Tony, where are you...
Tony: Nowhere.
Maria: He's probably just hiding in shame.
Pepper: Why would he be hiding in shame?
Pepper: Again?
Natasha: Maria said that Steve had a better butt.
Steve: GUYS THIS IS REALLY AWKWARD
Maria: It's true, you've got to admit it.
Steve: GUYS YOU CAN STOP NOW
Pepper: Well, ok, I can admit that.
Tony: WHAT?!!!
Tony: BETRAYAL
Tony: I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME
Tony: PEPPER HOW COULD YOU
Pepper: I must not tell lies.
Tony: STOP REFERENCING HARRY POTTER
Steve: What's Harry Potter?
Natasha: Oh my God. Steve you fossil.
Steve: ...
Thor: I MUST DISAGREE WITH YOU, MORTALS
Maria: ?
Thor: IT IS WHO TRULY HAS THE MOST FABULOUS OF BOOTIES
Bruce: I did not know that this level of awkward existed.
Clint: This is both awkward and hilarious, I'm screenshotting this.
Natasha: I don't know. Steve's butt is pretty damn fabulous.
Steve: STOP CALLING MY BUTT FABULOUS
Natasha: No.
Steve: AAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Clint: Oops, my finger slipped. Looks like this conversation is now on social media.
Thor: YES, THE WORLD MUST KNOW OF MY FABULOUS BOOTY.
Bruce: Levels of awkward are now off the scale
Tony: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Pepper: Hey, I know where Tony is now.
Tony: HOW
Pepper: I can hear you sobbing behind the couch...
Tony: DAMN IT
Pepper: Tony get up.
Tony: NO
Pepper: Oh my God
Tony: I JUST WANT TO SIT HERE AND CRY
Pepper: Does anybody know a good babysitter for Tony?
Maria: What happened to the last one?
Pepper: They quit after Tony somehow figured out to make pizza fly.
Natasha: What about that other one...?
Pepper: The other one left because Tony glued a pig to ceiling and starting singing "Spider Pig" at the top of his lungs.
Natasha: Ah.
Steve: Um...
Maria: What is it, oh one with the finest of booties?
Bruce: This is so awkward that I'm going to conduct a scientific study on it.
Steve: I still don't know what Harry Potter is.
Maria: Oh my God.
Steve: Can somebody please tell me what Harry Potter is?!
Natasha: *shuffles note cards* *clears throat* I'm so glad you asked.
Steve: Uh oh...
YOU ARE READING
Avengers Texts
FanfictionSteve the Frisbee Grandpa, Tony the Internet Troll, Mom Natasha, Caps Lock Army Thor, and much more Here is yet another Avengers Texts, so you can find out how completely irresponsible they all are in their spare time. (I wrote this so long ago an...
