JUST HIM (Z.M-a.u)

CHAPTER 30

I never put a song list because I don't usually listen to music when I write, but in this case the radio was on. So song for this chapter is Perfect by One Direction because it started playing just when I was going to upload the chapter.

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I like you. A lot.

Those five words. They've been playing in my head over and over again for the past three hours.

Did he really mean them?

Of course! Why would he say that to you if he didn't mean it, Beth? My subconscious speaks sarcastically.

Well, maybe he did it just to play with me again.

Really?

No, he wouldn't do that. Why would he waste his time trying to talk to me if he didn't mean it? To laugh at me? No, that's just ridiculous. Maybe it is true, maybe he really likes me...

A lot. I smile and blush at he thought.

I didn't even have time to reply to him in the kitchen, but now that I think about it, what would I have said?

I like you too?

I don't think I would have told him that. The truth is that I don't know how to feel anymore. I mean, I know that I like him, but I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. He is so frigging confusing!

For three weeks he's nice and sweet, but then last night he yells at me and acts like an asshole? How the hell does that make sense?! Why did he have to ruin it all last night?!

He better have a good explanation about it.

Thought you had it all figured out by now...

Well, yeah I did. I didn't need an explanation two hours ago, but I sure need one now. Let's just admit it, I want him to have a good explanation so I can forget it and forgive him. I really want to believe that he likes me.

Suddenly, I'm brought back to reality when someone knocks at my door. I lean back on my chair as I see the door opening slowly. As I expected (and hoped), a timid and unsure Zayn steps inside my room, but remains by the door.

"Hi." I say.

"Hey, uhm- Are you busy?" He asks, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand and giving me a perfect view of his tattooed arm.

"No." I shake my head slowly. His eyes wander to my desk, where my class books are spread all over it. Then, he looks back at me and raises an eyebrow.

"Oh, don't worry, I already finished." I say and he nods.

You didn't even start. My subconscious remarks.

After an awkward lunch, Trisha suggested seeing a movie and everybody agreed, but Wal and I. She said she had to do some homework, so I used the same excuse and came upstairs to my room to avoid the tension between Zayn and I in front of his parents.

I tried to distract myself by studying a bit, but since the moment I sat down I haven't done other thing than thinking about him and what he said.

I watch Zayn as he makes his way to my bed and takes a sit at the edge. I, however, stay on my chair.

We both stay quiet for a while, neither of us knowing what to say. He scratches his neck with his hand again, a thing he always seems to do when he's nervous and then finally looks at me with soft hazel eyes.