lovely boy ; phan [ completed ]

c u a t r o

phil lester caught dan howell as he was at his locker, packing his binders and notebooks into his backpack. "so dan, wanna go to mine for our project?" he asked. dan looked up through his fringe. "sure, if you'd have me," he said shyly. "are you sure your parents will be fine with it?" he asked, nervous tones showing through his voice. "i'm not sure if my mum will be home, but if she is, she's cool, so she'll be fine with it," phil assured him. dan nodded, seemingly unconvinced, but he proceeded to follow phil to his car in the parking lot.

"jesus christ, where is your house?" dan muttered. phil chuckled. "it's litterally on the other side of town," he explained. "literally?" dan exclaimed in disbelief. phil noted how adorable it was when he said literally. dan pronounced it lit-ra-ly, instead if litter-ally. it was fifteen minutes later when they arrived at phil's. "that took us half an hour, and that was driving. dear lord," dan muttered. phil laughed again. he could tell dan was opening up to him, becoming more comfortable around him. for that, he was so very glad.

phil parked his car carefully in the garage, and he eyed his mum's car. he grabbed dan's elbow before he could go up the steps leading to the inside of his house. "dan, my mum is here," phil said, and he could feel dan stiffen a bit. "no no no, don't worry about it, my mum is cool. she can just be a bit.. odd. yes, that's the word for it," he said. dan nodded and followed phil inside.

"mum! i'm home!" phil yelled. his mum came shuffling to the hall, and took a quick glance at dan. "oh, and your brought a boy! hello, i'm mrs. lester," she said, offering her hand to dan. he shook it and smiled politely. "i-i'm dan," he said, blushing. "darling you look like i'm going to bite your head off!" she chuckled. "i can assure you, i'm completely harmless," dan giggled. "that's good to know," he said, and phil's mum smiled and turned to phil. "i like him already!" she said, and phil laughed. "well mum, we'll be going to my room for our project," he said, dragging dan to his bedroom down the hall. "oh dan honey, i need a word with phil if that's alright," phil's mum said, and the boys stopped walking. "sure mrs. lester," dan said, nodding. "alright, thank you. phil's room in the blue door," she smiled, and dan nodded again, going into the room.

phil walked to where his mum was sat in the kitchen. "what's up?" he asked. his mum's face turned serious. "is that the dan you've told me about?" she asked. phil nodded slowly, raising an eyebrow. his mother was acting rather suspicious. "why? what are you thinking?" he implored. his mum bit her lip. "is he.. are you two..?" she asked, knowing she didn't have to finish the sentence; phil understood her. "what? no mum!" he said quickly. she smirked knowingly. "you like him, don't you?" she asked smugly. phil groaned. "can we please talk about this some other time?" he asked. "so you do like him," she clarified. "alright, yes, maybe i might have like a teeny tiny crush on him. but don't say anything. for all i know, he's straight as a wooden ruler," he grumbled. "i won't, but i dunno phil. something about him made my gaydar go off," she replied. "seriously mum? gaydar?" he asked. "yeah, a gaydar. like a radar that picks up people's gay vibes," she explained. "i know what you meant. alright, well i won't keep dan waiting," he said, turning to hurry down the hall. "and phil, keep that bedroom door open!" his mum yelled. he mentally face-palmed himself and pushed his bedroom door open.

dan was sitting cross-legged in the middle of phil's room. his head was on a swivel, absorbing everything in - the buffy posters, the plushies, the colors everywhere. he sucked it all in through those gorgeous brown eyes of his, phil thought. he clapped his hands, startling dan. "let's get this show on the road, shall we?" he said, sitting cross-legged across from dan. dan smiled weakly, and then dropped it. "what?" phil asked. "what is it? are you alright?" dan chuckled quietly before turning stone-serious again. "uhm.. i want to ask you something.. but like.. o-off the record. you know, like n-not on the project," he asked, leaving phil feeling uneasy. "alright," he said. "promise you won't be mad?" dan asked, meeting his chocolate eyes with phil's own lightning-like eyes. "i promise," phil said, sticking out his pinky, and dan wrapped his own shaking pinky around phil's. he hesitated, before blurting, "phil, are you gay?"

"a-am i gay?" phil repeated shakily. the words felt like a sucker punch, coming from dan; one that knocks the air right out of your lungs, but somehow makes you feel better afterwards. after the initial pain and disbelief phil felt, he finally looked back at dan. dan was adorable, sitting across from his, staring at him with a scared expression. his lips were placed in a perfect pout, and his hair was a bit messy and it curled a bit at the end. he looked at dan's hands, covered by his dark gray jumper, and he looked at his legs, clad in black skinny jeans. he noticed dan's mismatched socks, one spider man themed and the other printed with seasonally incorrect reindeer. he smiled softly, thinking about just how fucking gay he was, and he never used foul language, so he was surprised the thought even occurred to him. the pit that had originally taken refuge in his stomach was filled with the warm feeling of relief. he could finally tell someone. someone would finally understand.

"yeah, i guess i am," phil said, smiling to dan. dan blushed and covered his cheeks with a sweater paw. "phil, could i tell you something i've never told anyone?" he asked, obviously anxious, as he was fidgeting with the ends of his jumper. "sure dan, you can trust me," he said. "i-i think i'm gay too," dan admitted, looking down. "thanks for being honest with me," phil said and dan smiled softly, leading phil to wonder yet again about his softness. both boys shared a silent understanding that neither would tell another soul about their conversation. they started up their project, and phil was glad nothing had become awkward between the two. and yet, he was left to wonder if dan felt the same way that he felt about him.

/|\

after about ten minutes of agonizingly silent dinner, phil just couldn't keep it in. "mum, i came out to him," he blurted. his mum raised her eyebrows, surprised at her son's outburst. "and?" she prodded. "and he's gay too.. " phil said, looking down at his plate and blushing like a wild fire had been set aflame on his face. "that's wonderful dear!" she exclaimed. "do you think he has a thing for you too?" she asked curiously. phil's face reddened even deeper. "i- uh.. i dunno, maybe," he muttered. his mum laughed.

"bull shit, he has the hots for you," she said, and phil's eyes widened in surprise. much like himself, his mother almost never swore, so the sudden language shocked him. "what told you that, your gaydar?" phil joked, and his mum chuckled. "now you really have to keep that bedroom door open when he's around," she winked. "mum!" phil moaned, but he was smiling.

(a/n)

word count ; 1253

i'm proud of this chapter awe :)) also this is dedicated to 5sosarecalm because they're sweet and chill :)) -sam