4522 {The Number Series}

16

 

That morning at breakfast Archer was to join me at the long table that sat at the front. No more Jericho at meals. Something about that made me want to smile. In a way it felt like revenge. I missed my friend but at the same time I could not forgive him for choosing to side with someone who clearly wished I were gone the moment I met them.

"I would hate to be you," I said to Archer as he opened the front door to the white house for me.

"Why?" He asked. His voice was distant as if he really was not paying attention to my words.

"Because you were pulled from your life style to watch over someone who you haven't spoken to in a long time."

"I wouldn't say I haven't spoken to you."

"To be fair I haven't really spoken to you either," I said only to cut myself off. "What do you mean? How do you think you've talked to me in all of this time?"

"I figured you would know," he said. Archer took his position in front of me as we went into the tunnels.  I could not read his expressions.

"How would I know? Why would I know?"

"Happy birthday, Remi." Archer said to me as we walked through the tunnels to the dinning hall. It was unexpected considering I had forgotten that it was in fact the day I had drawn out of a hat. January twenty-third.  

"You remember."

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Because that day feels like a long time ago."

"Who do you think left the fresh fruit and flowers in your room once every year?"

Fresh fruit, not dried fruit that had been stored, was rare in the winter. There were only a few trees that were kept in a green house big enough to house them and not everyone had access. Marie, Macallister, and I did but we almost never took from them. Well, I sometimes did. They were used for seeds and kept safe just incase something ever happened to the orchard. We could not risk losing it all. As for flowers, some people kept them alive in their window sills during the cold months but not many. Archer was now added to the short list of flower keepers.

I stopped. "That was you? I thought the whole time it had been Macallister. I even thanked him for it and he let me!"

Archer shrugged. "When he told me I needed to stay away for a while I guess he did everything he could to make you feel like I did."

"How did you get them in my room?"

"You left the window open for me, I guess," he said. He sounded like his gifts were never a big deal.

"I did," I admitted.

"So I guess you spoke to me too," Archer sighed. "We just used something other than our words."

"If you were just going to be stuck with me all the time anyway, I don't really understand the point of the seperation in the first place." I frowned at this realization. "But thank you."

Archer shrugged again. "We can worry about this later. No one is allowed to eat until you enter and I'm starving."

No one seemed to be allowed to do anything until I did. You couldn't even start a meal without me. SInce Marie had fallen ill, she was put on bedrest, I seemed to find myself stuck doing whatever Marie had created. All of the formalities. The show. It reminded me of the way I had read about Queens acting. The thought sent a shiver down my spine. We were meant to be as close to a democracy as possible and that was not part of the system.

*

*

At breakfast I could hardly say anything before getting lost in my own thoughts, almost as if I were floating. I barely ate, which made Macallister concerned, and by the time breakfast was over I had not said anything more than a a few simple sentences.

"Are you feeling alright, Remi?" He asked while Archer stood behind him with his eyebrows furrowed closely together, his arms crossed tightly. Jericho waved at him in the distance and he nodded to her. My stomach flipped again.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I think I just need some alone time."

"Alone time?" Macallister asked. Once again Archer's focus returned to me. I nodded before starting to walk off.

"You can't just disappear," Archer followed. "I am ordered to be with you."

"Remi," the other one finished his sentence. They seemed to be two peas in a pod. "With recent events, you going around alone is a little too risky."

"Fine," I snapped. "Then I will have my alone time in my room where you two," I pointed at them angrily. "Can just sit around and wait for something to attack me."

I turned without another word. I was being watched like a hawk, told what to do, and following orders that I did not want to. It felt like I was in the city but with less harsh rules and punishments. I felt like screaming or breaking things. I felt like breaking rules.

"What about checking the greenhouses? The daily report from General White?" Macallister asked as the two rushed after me to keep up. I threw my hands up in the air to show them that it was not going to be me today. I had been so complient with what I was supposed to do to get back at the city that I had seemed to forget my own voice against the woods as well.

*

*

I stomped up the old wooden stairs of the white house to my room. I wanted them to feel how angry I was. I wanted to wake up Marie and shout at her that she turned me into something I was not meant to be. I wanted to scream that she was a hypocrite for filling me with hope of freedom only to be one of the few who prevented me from having it. How was I supposed to help others gain independence if I could not even gain it myself?

"I don't want to be a leader," I said as I shut the room to my door behind me. I never really wanted it, they just picked me.

I sat on my bed as I began to cry. I had been forced to give up my bestfriend, only to find that when we no longer shared a connection we were shoved back together again. I could not recall when I had become to obidient to other's wishes but realizing that I was felt like waking up from a long dream.

This room was my prison. And I wanted out.

Out the window and down the tree I went. The only place I could think to go were the orcherds even though the trees would be bare and covered in snow. I went in nothing more than what I had gone to breakfast in, a pair of pants and a simple long sleeved shirt. I ran as fast as I could, letting my thoughts consume me right along with the wonderful feeling of breaking the rules. Though feeling great did not last long before my mind crushed the warmth.

I had not chosen to be a leader. Archer had not chosen to become a fighter. No one actually chose anything that they were doing. We followed a specific schedule with certain times. Our jobs were picked for us based on our personalities but not of our own selection. This freedom Marie had created was a false sense of freedom. I knew what freedom had really felt like. It was in those few precious house in which I belong nowhere between the city and the woods. When everything felt like nothing could ever be better.

I collasped on the ground in the orchard, finding leverage from a tree to lean on. Registering the truth was overwhelming. My head was dizzy. Despite the freezing temperture I was sweating. I remembered asking Archer if this was the right thing. He had not known then. But I knew now that it was not. It was better than where we had come from but it was still the same.

The only way to change it would be if Marie died and I controlled everything. But I could not kill her, I could not, and her illness was not strong enough yet to take her life itself. I could go along with their plans until it did though. I could truly make the city and the woods free.

"Remi!" I could hear Archer calling to me. His voice was faint and far but I could feel the warmth of his arms around me. Something was not right. "Remi, can you hear me?"

I reached out for him. My hands tingled.

"Do you think you're free, Archer?" I asked before everything turned dark.