Love Alone Is Worth The Fight

Chapter 18

I got out of the shower and put on a pair of sweat pants and my red hoodie. They were getting looser on me and was almost proud of myself.

Almost.

I laid on my bed hearing my phone go off and seeing Derek's name across the screen.

"Hi." I answered.
"Hey, babe. How was your day?" He asked.
"It was okay."
"Just okay?"
"Yeah. I miss you." I sighed rolling onto my stomach.
"I miss you too, Sti."
"I have a question..."
"Okay..." he said softly.
"So...there's this stupid thing on Saturday..." I heard him laugh.
"What kind of stupid thing?"
"This stupid dance...kinda..thing.."
"Okay. What about this stupid dance kind of thing?" He asked.
"I kinda want to go...with you..." I sighed.
"I don't know...stupid high school dance or college party..."
"Derek..." I groaned.
"I'm kidding. Of course I'll go with you. What time?"
"Like...eight-ish."
"I'll get you at 6 for dinner."
"No! Y-you don't have to do tha-"
"What? Why not? What's wrong?"
"N-nothing. I just don't want to make you take me to dinner..." I sat up.
"Babe, are you sure you're okay?" He asked.
"Yeah..."
"Why are you lying?"
"I just don't want to go to dinner." I heard him sigh.
"Fine. We won't go to dinner."
"Don't be mad at me."
"I'm not mad at you. I just...I want to know what's going on."
"Nothing....everything...can we just not talk about it right now?" He sighed loudly.
"Okay...yeah.."

-----

Derek picked me up just before eight for the dance. He brought me flowers and a teddy bear. When I asked why he responded "No, reason. Just wanted to see you smile."

People gave us dirty looks as we walked in hand in hand. I felt Derek squeeze my hand and pull me closer to him.

"You okay?" He asked. I nodded seeing a table that the pack was sitting at.

"The packs over there." I said seeing him nod before we went over.

"Hey, Sti." Lydia smiled as I sat next to her.

"Hi." I said back.

"You okay?" She asked. I nodded seeing Derek roll his eyes.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing." He said softly. "You want something to drink?" He got up.

"Sure..." I said looking back at Lydia.

"What's with him?" Lydia asked.

I shrugged sighing. "Scott should be here."

"Sti, you need to stop." Lydia sighed.

"I feel bad."

"You shouldn't." Isaac butted in.

"Seriously, Sti. Isaac's right. Scott was in the wrong. You didn't do anything."

"I know..." I saw Derek set a cup in front of me as he sat down and wrap his arm around me. "You wanna dance?"

"Do I have to?" He asked pushing his face into my neck.

"No..." I sighed.

He kissed my cheek standing up. "C'mon." He pulled me up.

Derek POV

"Faggots." Someone muttered walking past us. I felt Stiles squeeze my hand.

"Ignore them." I said turning toward him.

He wrapped his arms around my neck. "Its hard..." he said softly laying his head on my shoulder.

"I know." I said pulling him closer and kissing his head.

-----

We went back to Stiles' after the dance. He was still upset. I just want him to open up to me. He's beginning to bottle everything up and even if he thinks I don't notice, I do.

I sat on his bed watching as he walked into his room with a glass beer bottle in his hand.

"What are you doing?" I asked. He handed it to me.

"I wanted it?" He said.

I took a sip. "Why?"

He shrugged. "I don't know." He said grabbing it from me, drinking some, and handing it back.

"Why won't you tell me what's wrong?" I asked him.

"Because nothings wrong."

"You know I can hear you lying..and even if I couldn't...I can see it."

He tensed up before taking a gulp of the beer. "What are you talking about."

I sighed. "Why didn't you want to go to dinner?"

"I just didn't want to." He said.

"Sti, you always want to go to dinner."

"I just didn't today, Derek." He said laying back on his bed.

"Stiles, I just want to help you stop shutting me out." I set the bottle down and got up.

He didn't answer me.

"Stiles, I know you're losing weight. I know you're always sad. I've heard you beat yourself up every night. Just talk to me! Please!"

He sat up. "What do you want me to say?" He asked quietly.

"Something. Anything." I sighed. "Why do you let what they say bother you so much?"

"I didn't at first. But...hearing it everyday...it kind of gets lodged in your head." He looked down. "I started to believe it.."

"Babe, you know that shit isn't true."

"Its still hurts Derek!" He yelled. "A-and I just keep losing people! I have you and Lydia. That's it. The rest of the pack either hates me or pitys me. I just can't take it anymore. I can't lose anyone else. I just can't just do this. I feel like I can't breathe!"

"Is that why you stopped eating?" I asked sadly.

"It's the only thing I can control now." He whispered.

I sighed sitting next to him and pulled him onto my lap.

He leaned into me. "Make it stop." He said quietly. "Just...just make the pain stop." He said starting to cry.

I kissed his head. "Okay." I said softly. "I love you. Don't forget that, okay?"

"I love you too, Derek." He whispered.