Imagine If You Assembled the Avengers: Volume 1

Because of You (Avengers x reader)

WARNING: Please don't read it if you don't think you're ready.  It's super heavy.  It's all pain and angst.  It's got death and pain and emotions all over it.  I'm so sad after writing it, but my co-conspirator and I had the flash of ideas and it had to come out.  So, again, please don't read it if you even think it might be too much.  Painful death, guys.  "Broken" now looks like a lightweight story. I'M SERIOUS. I have some lighter stuff in the works, BUT THIS IS NOT ONE OF THEM.

Nick sat across from you, watching you intently with an expression of both sadness and rage, but his eyes were filled with confusion and disbelief.  He was a man torn within himself, for the first time at a complete loss as to what he was going to do.  He sat in silence, having no words for you that could even begin to make sense, but knowing that he needed to hear your story no matter how much it would hurt you both.

He could ask you whatever he wanted; you would tell him everything.  He could do whatever he wanted with you; you deserved any punishment that he could imagine.  You stared back at him with a blank coldness in your eyes, devoid of any emotion.  The person you were was gone now, and it was your own doing.  You looked down at your hands in shame, feeling the cool sting of metal against your wrists under the cuffs that secured them to the tabletop. 

Did they really think you would try to escape?  Where would you go?  What would you do?  There was nothing left for you now.  Your husband wasn't there to help you, and your daughter shouldn't see you like this; she would never understand something that you barely understood yourself.  She would never forgive you. 

"(Y/N)," Nick said with a crack in his normally deep and commanding voice, "you know that we have to talk about this.  I need answers."  Your gaze dropped to the table and for the first time since you were brought in, you felt pain building in your chest and your breathing become shallow.  You had cried out all of your tears, but this pain was different.  It was hatred; and it was directed at yourself. 

"Do what you want, Nick. I'll tell you whatever you want to know," you said quietly, "and when we're done, I want you to set me free."

"(Y/N), you know that I can't-"

"That's not what I mean, Nick," you sighed, looking up to meet his eyes again, "I can't live like this. I need you end it for me, please."

He leaned back in his chair and took a deep breath, shaking his head and looking away, visibly uncomfortable with what you were asking.  "I'm gonna act like I didn't just hear that.  You know I can't."  After a few moments of uncomfortable silence, he reached out for his tablet and spun it for you to see, but you squeezed your eyes shut as the images only made the pain in your chest intolerable.

"(Y/N), I need you to tell me how you single-handedly defeated the Avengers.  I need to understand how you could take the lives of your friends one by one.  And then," he paused, his voice now so quiet that you strained to hear him, "you need to tell me how I'm supposed to tell your daughter that her daddy is gone. Because of you."

~~~

"Alright, here's the plan," Steve began, leaning against the side of the jet with the team around him, preparing to board for yet another rescue mission.  He was growing more and more frustrated with each of these assignments, feeling always one step behind HYDRA and feeling unsure of his ability to lead.  He outlined the role for each Avenger, and when there were no questions, he turned to you for your approval. 

"Steve, you don't have to do that," you chuckled, "we believe in your ability, stop questioning yourself." 

"At least someone does.  We should have been able to stop them by now, you know?  We're the Avengers, right?  All that 'Earth's mightiest heroes' stuff feels like a joke."