Sisi / Season 1

54⁒

she wants - sos

The way he looks at me is so poetic. My radiology textbook feels heavier in my backpack. I think he can see demons. His eyes dart around me, down me, up me, in me, I don't know. My faux fur vest tickles my chin in the wind. We found each other outside the A building entrance.

J helps himself to a smoke. I hate smokers. But this guy makes it looks like its necessary.

"You should quit," I say.

"I'll quit when I'm dead."

"Hm," I hum, "Sooner than I thought."

I gaze over the naked campus under damp air. Scarce students walk around, dragging their souls with them. My hand holds my wide brim hat, the one I named after Harry Styles, before the wind blows it away to a place I can't find.

My lippie shrivels under poor temperature. My eyes beg for J's to look at me.

He grits his high tops on the dead asphalt. Our circle shrinks. He doesn't know that I skipped biology. I don't know why he stands here. A squirrel examines us, sensing the pressure.

I grin.

"What?" he looks up at me.

"Are you going to talk to me?" I ask, dreading any more silence.

"I have nothing to say," he shrugs, his cigarette burning.

His hands hide in his deep jacket pockets. He's not cold, though. He's from hell.

I roll my own hands in my own pockets. I'm human.

"Okay. Goodbye," I nod, about to go up the brick steps.

"Wait," he calls.

I turn myself back to him. He pitches away his bud at the voyeur squirrel.

He lifts his eyes to me

"Let's get some pizza."

I pause. Yes, it's noon. Everyone goes to the pizzeria on Decarie at this time of the day. I pout my lips, trying not to let my smile be seen. The clouds lower in the sky, aiming their thunder towards sinners.

"Don't you know? I'm a psychopath." I kid, playful.

He only raises a brow.

"So am I. What's your point?"

He's good. He's quick.

I approach him and lower my voice.

"I kill my lovers after dinner."

"Good thing it's lunch," he replies.

I look to the side and exhale a short laugh. He starts walking, expecting me to follow. We walk together down the road. I stare at the small businesses and they old signs that don't light up anymore. I avoid stepping into puddles. I don't want to fall into wonderland.

·•●⦁·

I check my phone and answer the 'where are you's'. You have to be brave to eat cheesy hot pizza in front a boy. Melted cheese keeps dangling off my lips and no matter how many times I try to lick it up with my tongue... He's watching me the whole time.

"Struggling?" he asks.

I shake my head, deciding to cut the cheese rope with my fingers.

"No, my ancestors are Italian. I got this."

I made that up.

"What program are you in?" he asks, like a normal person.

"Respiratory and Anaesthesia," I answer, "You?"

"Computer Science," he answers.

"Boring!" I level.

He grins and bites his piece of crust.

"Like Respiratory and whatever is interesting."

"It is, actually," I say as a matter-of-factly, "I can save lives. You can only save computers."

I lean my elbow on the table and pick up a pepperoni. It's still steaming.

"I have asthma," he tells me.

I frown immediately.

"You're asthmatic and you smoke?" I say like that information is impossible to be true.

He shrugs.

"You must have a death wish," I say.

"It's a good thing I met you then," he says, "You'll take care of me."

I roll my eyes.

"I have a life. I don't have time to take care of you," I wave off.

He gazes at me like he found sunken treasure. His stare carries my imagination to the eight of skyscrapers.

"What do you do?" he asks.

·•●⦁·